Something that is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
At present,
children
Use synonyms
love to play with novel electronic gadgets
such
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as computers, mobile phones, and portable gaming devices.
However
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, especially adults believe that
instead
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of clinging to
such
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equipment it is better to engage in outdoor
activities
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for youngsters. I agree with
this
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statement and
this
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essay will analyze
this
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issue using examples from our society to demonstrate points and support arguments. On one hand playing outside help little ones to improve their cognition, creativity, innovative
skills
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and so on. Because in there, they create their own world through their imaginations.
For example
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, while doing outdoor
activities
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at the same time child can be the patient or the doctor. Like that they build up their own world using their real-life experiences. As well as it should not be forgotten that,
children
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learn to socialize through these
activities
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, one of the best qualities to be improved in their lives.
For instance
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, open-air
games
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learn them how to respect each other, share, and care.
Moreover
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, It is undeniable that these
activities
Use synonyms
enhance their self-confidence, by allowing them to trust themselves. To exemplify, when a child wants to climb a tree
first
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of all he or she might have enough courage to do that. In
such
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cases
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,cases
show examples
they believe themselves and do it.
Therefore
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, it is very clear that
,
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apply
show examples
open
activities
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extremely help to develop
children
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's
skills
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.
On the other hand
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, in modern digitalized society
children
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cannot deny these gadgets. Because, these things have become very common, and normal nowadays.
Therefore
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, youngsters are curious about these electronic gadgets and they like to try them. Other than that, all the time video
games
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do not affect negatively. Sometimes, these could help to improve childrens'
skills
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in another way.
For example
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, these
games
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can stimulate the
skills
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of someone's who like to learn about these things. As
such
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it can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
undoubtedly open-air
games
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help to enrich the life -
skills
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of
children
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, by allowing them to learn new things, deal with problems, and socialize themselves.
However
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, playing video
games
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could affect them in both negative and positive ways.
Therefore
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, adults should be responsible for their kids and should help them to improve their
skills
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by tharukaperera141 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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