Something that is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #activities #video #games

At present,

children

love to play with novel electronic gadgets

such

as computers, mobile phones, and portable gaming devices.

However

, especially adults believe that

instead

of clinging to

such

equipment it is better to engage in outdoor

activities

for youngsters. I agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will analyze

this

issue using examples from our society to demonstrate points and support arguments. On one hand playing outside help little ones to improve their cognition, creativity, innovative

skills

and so on. Because in there, they create their own world through their imaginations.

For example

, while doing outdoor

activities

at the same time child can be the patient or the doctor. Like that they build up their own world using their real-life experiences. As well as it should not be forgotten that,

children

learn to socialize through these

activities

, one of the best qualities to be improved in their lives.

For instance

, open-air

games

learn them how to respect each other, share, and care.

Moreover

, It is undeniable that these

activities

enhance their self-confidence, by allowing them to trust themselves. To exemplify, when a child wants to climb a tree

first

of all he or she might have enough courage to do that. In

such

cases

Add a comma

,cases

show examples

they believe themselves and do it.

Therefore

, it is very clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

open

activities

extremely help to develop

children

skills

On the other hand

, in modern digitalized society

children

cannot deny these gadgets. Because, these things have become very common, and normal nowadays.

Therefore

, youngsters are curious about these electronic gadgets and they like to try them. Other than that, all the time video

games

do not affect negatively. Sometimes, these could help to improve childrens'

skills

in another way.

For example

, these

games

can stimulate the

skills

of someone's who like to learn about these things. As

such

it can be concluded that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

undoubtedly open-air

games

help to enrich the life -

skills

children

, by allowing them to learn new things, deal with problems, and socialize themselves.

However

, playing video

games

could affect them in both negative and positive ways.

Therefore

, adults should be responsible for their kids and should help them to improve their

skills

Submitted by tharukaperera141 on Thu Jan 13 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

363 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said there is an improvement in the way people live in the 21st century from the past. I partially agree with this, for the growing supply of food resulted from the advancement of technology regardless of the fact that people are not always happy from the increasing loss of physical contact with other people in daily life.
7
band
Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns .while other believe housing facilities should be built instead. Do agree or disagree?
The pursuit of a cleaner environment is conspicuously prevailing worldwide since a cleaner environment could bolster human well-being, and trees are an essential element for a better environment. However, because this has become a prominent issue, polarized radical opinions have been established saying trees should be planted in obscure areas while others championed the process of urbanization. Personally, There's no denying that the former premise is sound. However, the jury is still out on the latter.
5.5
band
A friend who lives in another country has invited you to come and stay with him/her on your next holiday. You are too busy to accept the invitation. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, Thank him/her for the invitation Explain why you cannot come Ask him/her about other times to visit Write atleast 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear________.
How are you , buddy ? It's been an eternity since I last spoke with you ,Hope you are doing well.Firstly, I want to thank you for inviting me to your place for Christmas Celebrations.I extremely miss the delicious cakes made by your mother on the next day of the festival.It's been a long time I have been to your place.
<4
band
In many countries a small number of people earn extremely high salaries some people believe that this is good for the country, but other's think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In a lot of nations a minimum number of individuals receive a lot of money other people assume that this is nice for the state whilst, some argue that authority must not allow payments that are beyond that certain level.I personally think that,it is very good for citizens to receive large amounts of pay because it encourages the rest of the tribe to work very hard.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, one of the most important things in personal and professional lives is to take risks, whose benefits outweigh its drawbacks like making progress in both lives which leads to a successful life.

Something that is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns .while other believe housing facilities should be built instead. Do agree or disagree?

In many countries a small number of people earn extremely high salaries some people believe that this is good for the country, but other's think that goverments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?