Some believe that men and women are equal and so women are able to do any job they want. Others feel that men women are not equal and therefore there certain jobs that are not suitable for women. What is your opinion

It is often claimed that men and
women
are equal and
women
can do any job they want,
while
some
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that females are not suitable for every job. I strongly
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that females can do any type of work. In
this
essay, I am going to tell you that colleens are suitable for many of the jobs. It is widely believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
women
are challenging men in most of the fields.
Firstly
, there are only gents who are going
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
space
but Valentina, a woman who travelled in
space
proofs
Replace the word
proves
show examples
that
women
are not weak and in 1963 she
creates
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
a benchmark for all ladies in the world. Not only in
space
but
also
in police services,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities, and in many more sectors colleens are creating history continuously.
Furthermore
, the above examples you read
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
only related to
service
Add an article
the service
show examples
sector. But ladies
also
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
as well.
For instance
, recently the founder of Nykaa
Mrs.
Change the punctuation
Mrs
show examples
Falguni Nayar
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
the richest woman in India, by outbreaking its IPO in
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
stock market. In conclusion,
women
are giving their best in many of the fields in which they are working. So, they are equal to men in every field whether it is sports, business development,
space
exploration,
software
Correct word choice
or software
show examples
development.
However
, colleens
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
high patience
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, excellent presence of mind and
also
great
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
power in critical situations.
Submitted by mayankpd2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer outline of your opinion and summarize your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all aspects of the task, and provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: