Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect

Video

game players are legion, especially since the

last

decade when playing those

games

has democratized the whole world.

To that

Change preposition

That

show examples

, many people assert that

this

activity could be beneficial for gamers

due to

the benefits that could be derived from it. Others,

however

, opine that there are several drawbacks to

this

new tendency. I personally agree with the latter statement.

This

essay will discuss both opinions and explain why

video

games

can be harmful to players. First and foremost, it is undeniable that gaming is entertaining and an excellent way to release

off

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some steam. Indeed, people can have hours of fun playing on laptops, phones or tablets.

Moreover

, scientists assert that

this

activity pushes the brain to release endorphins,

this

Correct determiner usage

show examples

hormone

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

used against anxiety.

In addition

to that, gamers can play

video

games

whilst talking or chatting with their friends,

this

surely makes people share moments together and helps strengthen the bond they have.

On the other hand

, it is noticed by several that electronic

games

contain way too much graphic content. The majority of

video

games

are based on killing or hurting opponents,

this

can only lead to a normalization of violence, especially among youngsters.

Furthermore

, I believe that playing

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

electronic

games

is a complete waste of time and energy, there are other ways to unwind

such

as reading a book or watching entertaining programs on TV. Another negative aspect is that gamers can easily become addicted to

games

thus

it pushes them to neglect their responsibilities in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life.

To sum up

, no one can deny that

video

games

are a great way to unwind and rest after a long day of work, provided that those

games

are played for a reasonable amount of time.

Submitted by filalibabareda on Wed Jan 19 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the main arguments of both sides of the issue. Additionally, the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the main points and stating a clear opinion.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the question prompt. Provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and clearly express your opinion with supporting reasons.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness

SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE CHANGES AND PREFET TO DO THINGS THEY ARE GOOD AT, WHILE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE TAKING RISKS AND TRYING NEW THINGS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Your friend from overseas is coming to visit you next month. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •tell them what they need to bring •tell them what they will be doing during the time they are visiting •warn them about some things that might be challenging

Some people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the few decades, there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media should have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?