Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Video

Use synonyms

game players are legion, especially since the

last

Linking Words

decade when playing those

games

Use synonyms

has democratized the whole world.

To that

Change preposition

That

show examples

, many people assert that

this

Linking Words

activity could be beneficial for gamers

due to

Linking Words

the benefits that could be derived from it. Others,

however

Linking Words

, opine that there are several drawbacks to

this

Linking Words

new tendency. I personally agree with the latter statement.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both opinions and explain why

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can be harmful to players. First and foremost, it is undeniable that gaming is entertaining and an excellent way to release

off

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some steam. Indeed, people can have hours of fun playing on laptops, phones or tablets.

Moreover

Linking Words

, scientists assert that

this

Linking Words

activity pushes the brain to release endorphins,

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

show examples

hormone

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

used against anxiety.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, gamers can play

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

whilst talking or chatting with their friends,

this

Linking Words

surely makes people share moments together and helps strengthen the bond they have.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is noticed by several that electronic

games

Use synonyms

contain way too much graphic content. The majority of

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are based on killing or hurting opponents,

this

Linking Words

can only lead to a normalization of violence, especially among youngsters.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I believe that playing

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

electronic

games

Use synonyms

is a complete waste of time and energy, there are other ways to unwind

such

Linking Words

as reading a book or watching entertaining programs on TV. Another negative aspect is that gamers can easily become addicted to

games

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

it pushes them to neglect their responsibilities in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life.

To sum up

Linking Words

, no one can deny that

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are a great way to unwind and rest after a long day of work, provided that those

games

Use synonyms

are played for a reasonable amount of time.

filalibabaredaWed Jan 19 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the main arguments of both sides of the issue. Additionally, the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the main points and stating a clear opinion.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the question prompt. Provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and clearly express your opinion with supporting reasons.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
some experts believe for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of learning a foreign language at an early age outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,learning a foreign vocabulary is essential in the modern education system. While others think it is not beneficial to teach young children a foreign accent as the benefits of it are uncertain. Some people strongly believe that it has more advantages than the disadvantages.
7
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university, He/She has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter give details of the course you took at the university explain why you recommend the university give some advice about how to apply
I hope this letter finds you healthy and wealthy. I'm writing with regard to your interest in taking the medical course at Tehran University.
6.5
band
Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion
Working as a worship and finding a job today has become a kind of miracle. So many young people are seeking work opportunities in new places and leaving their families and friends, It is true respecting family cohesion and lasting friendships is important, and perceiving them becomes rare. However, there are lots of advantages of working in faraway places. Anyway, I will try to illustrate both sides.
7
band
Your photograph recently won a photography competition and will be shown in an exhibition. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the photograph you sent to the competition •tell him/her about the exhibition where your photo will be shown •invite him/her to the exhibition
I am writing this letter with regard to share my happiness with you and inviting you to be a part of my success story.
6.5
band
The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?
It is undoubtedly true that territory education is a fundamental need for everyone throughout the world. It is the one of aspects that helps the country to lead economically. However, It is undeniable concept that due to some causes the counting of admission in the science domain decreases at the university level. So, I will try to exhibit some of its causes and how it on the country in the upcoming paragraphs.

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

some experts believe for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of learning a foreign language at an early age outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion

Your photograph recently won a photography competition and will be shown in an exhibition. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the photograph you sent to the competition •tell him/her about the exhibition where your photo will be shown •invite him/her to the exhibition

The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?