Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect

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Video

Use synonyms

game players are legion, especially since the

last

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decade when playing those

games

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has democratized the whole world.

To that

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That

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, many people assert that

this

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activity could be beneficial for gamers

due to

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the benefits that could be derived from it. Others,

however

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, opine that there are several drawbacks to

this

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new tendency. I personally agree with the latter statement.

This

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essay will discuss both opinions and explain why

video

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games

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can be harmful to players. First and foremost, it is undeniable that gaming is entertaining and an excellent way to release

off

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apply

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some steam. Indeed, people can have hours of fun playing on laptops, phones or tablets.

Moreover

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, scientists assert that

this

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activity pushes the brain to release endorphins,

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this

Correct determiner usage

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hormone

Unnecessary verb

apply

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used against anxiety.

In addition

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to that, gamers can play

video

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games

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whilst talking or chatting with their friends,

this

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surely makes people share moments together and helps strengthen the bond they have.

On the other hand

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, it is noticed by several that electronic

games

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contain way too much graphic content. The majority of

video

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games

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are based on killing or hurting opponents,

this

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can only lead to a normalization of violence, especially among youngsters.

Furthermore

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, I believe that playing

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

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electronic

games

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is a complete waste of time and energy, there are other ways to unwind

such

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as reading a book or watching entertaining programs on TV. Another negative aspect is that gamers can easily become addicted to

games

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thus

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it pushes them to neglect their responsibilities in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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real life.

To sum up

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, no one can deny that

video

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games

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are a great way to unwind and rest after a long day of work, provided that those

games

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are played for a reasonable amount of time.

Submitted by filalibabareda on Wed Jan 19 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction could be improved by clearly stating the main arguments of both sides of the issue. Additionally, the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the main points and stating a clear opinion.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the question prompt. Provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and clearly express your opinion with supporting reasons.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?