IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia present and future.

the diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia present and future.
The diagrams illustrate the
process
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 supply in Australia at present and future.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
process
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 in the future does not link with the river. It is
also
Linking Words
 a relative
process
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 with the 3 stages. Nowadays, the
process
Use synonyms
 of the
water
Use synonyms
 supply system is starting at a dam or storage, where
water
Use synonyms
 is divided into two parts by a machine, these two
water
Use synonyms
 are called wastewater and pure
water
Use synonyms
. In the following stage, pure
water
Use synonyms
 is supplied to any households, factories, shops and city for use in various activities,
while
Linking Words
 the other
water
Use synonyms
 is sent to the
water
Use synonyms
 treatment plant. After the pure
water
Use synonyms
 which is used by households and different places will send the wastewater back to the
water
Use synonyms
 treatment plant,
Moreover
Linking Words
, the system will send the stormwater to the river. In the future day, waste and stormwater which are delivered from households and various places will treat in the
water
Use synonyms
 treatment plant by a machine. ,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 the machine
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
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 the dirty
water
Use synonyms
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pure
water
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 people can use apply again.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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