IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some Vinhomes areas, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#vinhomes #areas #food #meals #drinks #shops #prices #development
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I think in some Vinhomes areas, fast
food
, prepared meals, and
surgary
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
drinks
 are now sold in more shops and at lower
prices
 than in the past is a positive
development
.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first
, like a
developped
Correct your spelling
developed
 country, there are a
lot
 of famous fast
food
 companies in Vinhomes areas make the
prices
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past, and give a
lot
 of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 for the consumers and they can
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 the best one with the lower
prices
. Compare
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the past, these
food
 were expensive and not
variety
Replace the word
varied
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
Secondly
show examples
secondly
, It is very popular to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 and prepared
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 in
aldult's
Correct your spelling
adult's
adults
 trend nowadays. They spend
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying, working so there is not enough
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
cook
Add an article
a cook
show examples
 a meal
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 own. So they can
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 suitable meal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special
prices
 and save a
lot
 of time to their task and make our society more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
. The variety of fast
food
 are suitable for the breakfast and quick meal , A prepared meals are adaptable for the lunch and the
surgary
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
drinks
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big fan for young people, so these products make
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
 life more comfortable.
Furthermore
, It's
delicous
Correct your spelling
delicious
 to combine fast
food
 with the
surgary
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
drinks
,
this
 compose give us a
lot
 of energy and make us quickly
recovery
Replace the word
recover
show examples
 after
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 exercise or working which is very
pupular
Correct your spelling
popular
 in modern society. In conclusion, the
development
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 shops with fast
food
 and prepared meals and
surgary
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
drinks
 with the lower
prices
 in the Vinhomes areas is suitable for the young and dynamic generation,
this
 is positive
development
comme
Correct your spelling
come
 another famous region in the world.
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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