IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#artists #freedom #pictures #music #film #government #restrictions
Many
ideas
, which have been creative by
artists
, must have the freedom for presenting to a community in any way
such
 as words, pictures, music or movie.
Moreover
, a
government
 should
control
 with an equal standard. In my opinion, I completely agree about
this
 idea
however
 the idea should be illustrated with reality without
a fake
Remove the article
fake news
a piece of fake news
show examples
news
. After the revolution of Thailand in 2015, they have not been changed in a
government
 with
control
 by the prime minister who has been the same in 7 years ago.
this
 is not a normal situation in Thailand
thus
 many
artists
, who disagree about
this
 revolution, are protesting in different ways,
for instance
, some
artists
 comment about the
government
 on the social network after that they will have blocked by the
government
, some
artists
 find the way to illustrate by pictures, music or film these making people access to the
news
, which
government
 restrict it, easily.
Finally
, these
ideas
 that I mentioned
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have been concealed by the
government
.
On the other hand
, some
artists
 saw a benefit of globalization which can let people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
easy accessing by spreading fake
news
, so I agree to the
government
 which they can
control
this
 fake
news
however
 they should be giving freedom to every artist who creating performance with the fact.
Lastly
, if the
government
 has not
an
Add a missing verb
have an
show examples
 equal standard, they will be cannot solve these problems in a long term. In conclusion, I agree with the concept about the
artists
 who have the freedom to create their
ideas
 but it must
a trust information
Remove the article
trust information
a piece of trust information
show examples
. So the
government
 can
control
 the
ideas
 in case of the
artists
 make fake
news
 in their performance.
Submitted by porroramor_prem on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
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