IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, wordly corona virus widespread become every nation problem, including education sector and it make many educational officers and experts suggest the government to spent more budget for free internet access. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In our new era, nations have been gripped by many issues, especially the education part of the
government
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, and a lot of authorities advocate that it is better to pour more money into accessing the
internet
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 for the purpose of free usage. I believe it would
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
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as
Change preposition
apply
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one of the notions, and I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. There are at least two significant reasons why some people disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
, despite the fact that free
internet
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 is appealing to everybody, allocating more budget to it means that the
government
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 may diminish the other sectors' budget, and it would be irritating for those who
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
interest
Replace the word
interested
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 in it.
For example
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, the ageing population would prefer an increase in the welfare state budget rather than the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Thus
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, they could be mad about
this
Linking Words
 decision with the
government
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they assume that there are far too many fraud men that could abuse
this
Linking Words
zero cost
Add a hyphen
zero-cost
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internet
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 for aims that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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do not reconcile with the
government
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's goals. Downloading movies and surfing social networks could be the best examples of
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I presume free
internet
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 is compulsory these days to guarantee both
teachers
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teacher's
teachers'
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 and
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 health. it could be wholesome for other citizens to avoid unnecessary travelling throughout the city and dispersing virus among the people, namely in crowded cities, and towns which conform
fewer
Change preposition
to fewer
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 protocols.
Besides
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,
this
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 type of
internet
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 not only is perfect for students who are studying in big cities, but
also
Linking Words
 it brings a unique opportunity for those studying in the countryside. Regarding its benefits,
Therefore
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, free-cost
internet
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 contributes society to
enhancing
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by enhancing
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in
Change preposition
apply
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education level. in conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some people who do not support
this
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 theory, it could be wholesome for every single individual in the country. I think by finding the best solution to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue, experts could convince opponents too.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the prompt and provide a clear stance. Make sure to elaborate on both sides of the argument to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the overall structure of the essay. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
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