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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #positions #community
Nowadays employing foreign
labors
Replace the word
labourers
show examples
 in various areas
instead
 of locals become a heated topic. While some people are worried about
this
 issue, others including me believed that the merit of
this
 can not be denied.In
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
following
Add a comma
,following
show examples
 there are some
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 features of
this
 opinion. My
first
 justification has to do knowledge sharing. By Utilizing foreigners not only the work is finished as desired but
also
 others could learn and use their data in different cases by asking and looking to them.The immigrants
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
could rise their wisdom
also
.Another ground is about expansion.Many companies established a new branch of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 business in other places only by knowing a local person of that statement.If a superior get familiar with a guy who lives in another city or country, he would help him to get acquainted with the ins and pros and
also
 develop
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
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 work as he
wish
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wishes
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.
Further
 radix is about enrichment from
different
Add an article
a different
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culture
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cultures
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.
Nither
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Neither
show examples
 reading
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the book
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book
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books
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 nor watching films can
disply
Correct your spelling
display
 you the culture of another nation.Due to that communicating and
havnig
Correct your spelling
having
 conversation could
leads
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lead
show examples
 both of the groups
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 a proper
congnition
Correct your spelling
cognition
recognition
 of each other
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 reduce a lot of ambiguity. The main
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
working
 aspect induced by externs
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 over-dependence on them.At
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
 regionals used to hire foreigners for small works just when they could not get out of it or did not have the appropriate equipment,
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
, after a
while
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,while
show examples
 they do not even bother themselves and
leave
Wrong verb form
left
show examples
 everything to others.In
this
 manner, if the country becomes boycott and nobody
accpt
Correct your spelling
accept
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 request, they fail as follows marginal skills and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
. The other annoying issue is
existence
Add an article
the existence
show examples
 of illegal workers.Some folks
specially
Replace the word
especially
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are not in a suitable situation in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 homeland,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accept the risk of migrating illegally either by land or air to other locations.Many humans take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of
this
 opportunity to pay less for more
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Owing to
this
 fact the number of criminal activities increases and the security decreases. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
sum up
 what
mentioned
Add a missing verb
was mentioned
show examples
 above,
although
 there are some
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
show examples
draw backs
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
show examples
, the advantages are outweighed.In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 cooperation brings significant circumstances.
Submitted by darang_elnaz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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