IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #positions #community
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Nowadays employing foreign
labors
Replace the word
labourers
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 in various areas
instead
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 of locals become a heated topic. While some people are worried about
this
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 issue, others including me believed that the merit of
this
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 can not be denied.In
Correct article usage
the following
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following
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,following
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 there are some
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 features of
this
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 opinion. My
first
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 justification has to do knowledge sharing. By Utilizing foreigners not only the work is finished as desired but
also
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 others could learn and use their data in different cases by asking and looking to them.The immigrants
,
Remove the comma
apply
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could rise their wisdom
also
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.Another ground is about expansion.Many companies established a new branch of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 business in other places only by knowing a local person of that statement.If a superior get familiar with a guy who lives in another city or country, he would help him to get acquainted with the ins and pros and
also
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 develop
its
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his
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 work as he
wish
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wishes
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.
Further
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 radix is about enrichment from
different
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a different
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culture
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cultures
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.
Nither
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Neither
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 reading
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the book
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book
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books
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 nor watching films can
disply
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display
 you the culture of another nation.Due to that communicating and
havnig
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having
 conversation could
leads
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lead
show examples
 both of the groups
have
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to have
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 a proper
congnition
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cognition
recognition
 of each other
wich
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which
show examples
 reduce a lot of ambiguity. The main
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
working
 aspect induced by externs
are
Change the verb form
is
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 over-dependence on them.At
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first
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,first
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 regionals used to hire foreigners for small works just when they could not get out of it or did not have the appropriate equipment,
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whereas
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where as
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whereas
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, after a
while
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,while
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 they do not even bother themselves and
leave
Wrong verb form
left
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 everything to others.In
this
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 manner, if the country becomes boycott and nobody
accpt
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accept
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 request, they fail as follows marginal skills and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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. The other annoying issue is
existence
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the existence
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 of illegal workers.Some folks
specially
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especially
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are not in a suitable situation in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 homeland,
they
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apply
show examples
accept the risk of migrating illegally either by land or air to other locations.Many humans take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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 of
this
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 opportunity to pay less for more
works
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work
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. Owing to
this
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 fact the number of criminal activities increases and the security decreases. To
sumup
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sum up
 what
mentioned
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was mentioned
show examples
 above,
although
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 there are some
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
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draw backs
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
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, the advantages are outweighed.In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 cooperation brings significant circumstances.
Submitted by darang_elnaz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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