IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have recently bought a Telephone with answer machine from an online shop. The web page said that the answer machine shows you a list of who left a message so you can choose which to play first. But after taking it home you find out that only the most recent call is kept in the calls list. Write an e-mail letter to the store manager. In your e-mail: • say who you are • explain the problem • say what action you would like the store to take

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 missive to bring to your attention
about
Change preposition
apply
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the Telephone device(ME1101) that I have recently purchased from your company and My name is Haman Singh.I am your old customer
as well
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, as
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 I usually order your company's products online as the organisation has always stood
on
Change preposition
by
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 its
words
Fix the agreement mistake
word
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. Let me explain the problem with the device
,on
Punctuation problem
. On
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 the
organisation
Check wording
organisation's
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website
Punctuation problem
website,
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 it was mentioned that an individual can look after the voice messages of the people who tried to contact them in their absence.
However
Linking Words
,the Telephone answer machine is only showing the recent call data in
spite
Use the right word
despite
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of
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apply
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showing the complete call log history. From my point of view,you should immediately address these problems by ensuring that the company either replaces my device or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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refund
Correct subject-verb agreement
refunds
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 the entire amount that I had paid.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I hope that you will be able to make some form of restitution to us for these inconveniences. Look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Haman

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task
Task: Say what you want in a clear line. Include order number and date. Ask for a replacement or full refund.
cohesion
Coherence: Use one idea in each paragraph and short sentences. Use simple links like and, also, but to show flow.
tone
Tone: Be polite and firm. Use a formal Dear salution and Yours faithfully closing, and end with your name.
content
You tell who you are and what is wrong.
form
You keep a formal tone and polite end.
context
You show you buy from this shop and ask for help.
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