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Writing Samples
Band 7

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Some people think that a high
salary
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 is the best choice when finding a
job
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, rather than what they can achieve satisfaction in their
job
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. I completely disagree with the state for several reasons below. Finding a
job
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 that brings lucrative income means more pressure.
Firstly
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, a firm is willing to pay more
salary
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, you have to
work
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 many jobs at the same
time
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, they hand over many
job
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 titles for you and you need to finish them on
time
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.
This
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 means to arise many problems that you need to tackle. As a consequence, these workers get more of their
time
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 and don't have enough
time
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 to take care of themselves, even their families or relatives.
Secondly
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, with a handsome
salary
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, they sacrifice themselves with
work
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, decline… and devote all of the abilities they have to deserve with that wages level.
As a result
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, they run out of energy and need to spend more
time
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 recharging their batteries.
On the other hand
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, some people concentrate on
job
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 satisfaction when they seek a
job
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,
this
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 creates more and more salaries for them. They always spend 100%, even 200% to
work
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 with their dream jobs, they
work
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 with the whole energy and passion that they have.
As a result
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, they usually create more productivity at
work
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 and obtain the general aims. With good outcomes of
work
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, the directorate board is willing to raise salaries to encourage employees to contribute to the company more and more. What is more, working as a game, so there is not much pressure
that is
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 released from the
job
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.
As a result
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, they can
work
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 for a long
time
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 without feeling fatigued. In conclusion, satisfaction in their jobs plays an important role in remaining that
job
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 for a long
time
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 rather than a big
salary
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.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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