In many countries, an increase in crime rate has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In many
states
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states,
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criminal
activies
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activities
are increasing and the main responsible
fact
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factor
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is
to play
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playing
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electronic games or crime scenarios on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television. From, my perspective,
this
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proposition is completely true. It seems undeniable that the modern era expiates a lot of technology and it has many latest issues where it can be operated automatically.
As a result
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, updated systems can be able to display easy solutions where people can easily find out the problem.
Thus
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, there
have
Verb problem
is
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an option to see the transgression scene where it can visualise the critical condition. As children are
soft minded
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soft-minded
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, they follow what they see in the movie which affects their minds.
However
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, some individuals consider illegal activities scenario on
the
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apply
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electronic media has
been
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be
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restricted for
the
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apply
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children.
For instance
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, infants watching
cinema
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a cinema
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conveying
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convey
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a lot of crimes
affects
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apply
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deeply and react with their brain.
On the other hand
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, violation
movie
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movies
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is
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are
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only for adult people to concern themselves.
Moreover
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, crime preaches anywhere where it can sicken a person's mind.
As a consequence
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, children lose their minds. In
this
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,way they are out of control. Once they are diverted from the illegal work fact, they cannot retrieve themselves. It creates a lot of bad aspects in a society where it has no bounds.
Nevertheless
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, there are other factors to do any evil deeds. If someone cannot meet
up
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apply
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their basic needs, they are coerced into criminal activities and it has no age limit.
For example
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, teenage folks are very fond of ensuing events.
While
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they watch something, they grab those things to implement it.
On the contrary
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, crime can be spread to any place without any restrictions. In conclusion, electronic media is responsible
to deter
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for deterring
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wrongdoing
for
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in
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infants.
However
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, other negative aspects
also
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engage
Verb problem
lead
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to
occur
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apply
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any kind of criminal event.

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task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question. For example, "I strongly agree that violent media contributes to an increase in crime rates."
task achievement
Add more specific examples to reinforce your points, such as studies linking media violence to aggressive behavior in children.
coherence
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and relates back to your thesis.
cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity in your writing. For example, revise phrases like "there have an option" and "crime preaches anywhere" for better understanding.
content
Your essay demonstrates awareness of varying perspectives on media's role in influencing crime.
content
You have attempted to address the topic from multiple angles, discussing both the effects of media and other societal issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • psychological theories
  • Bandura's Social Learning Theory
  • conclusive scientific evidence
  • correlation
  • multi-factorial
  • socio-economic status
  • mental health
  • sole cause
  • outlet for aggression
  • teamwork
  • strategic thinking
  • counter-studies
  • awareness
  • violent media
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