IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the online consumption for retail sectors in New Zealand that divided by four different part over a decade between 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts indicate the online consumption for retail sectors in New Zealand that divided by four different parts over a decade between 2003 and 2013. The general overview here is that the travel sector is most popular in 2003 except in 2013. Turning to the
first
Linking Words
 feature, In 2003, the Travel sector was the majority of the online sales which accouter 36 percentage The figure for the
second
Linking Words
 value was clothes (24%) which is more than film/music in 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The minority of 2003 was a book stood at 19% By 2013, It was a dramatic movement that the most consumption of New Zealand people was changed. The film/movie turning to the highest value reaches in 33 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which more than the travel value which is deceased from 2003 for 7 per
cent
Use synonyms
. At the same time , in the other sector in 2013 , especially , the clothes sales dropped by 16 per
cent
Use synonyms
 what is the lowest amount.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the online sale of books was just under 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 both 2003 and 2013

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: