Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

this

modern society, the usage of social

media

and technology has significantly

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

amongst all age groups. One may own a social

media

account

for entertainment purposes or to connect and keep in touch with their loved ones. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of using social

media

. It can be safe if the individual knows how to use it cautiously without having to share personal information. On the one hand, there are many benefits of using social

media

that

oughweights

Correct your spelling

outweighs

the negatives.

Firstly

, platforms

such

as Facebook, Instagram and Telegram

serves

Change the verb form

serve

show examples

as a dominant medium of communication. To explain

further

, most

people

are busy in their own lives, either working, studying,

and

Correct word choice

show examples

travelling abroad. In order to interact with their family and friends, there are numerous websites that offer free calls and

messanger

Correct your spelling

messages

which is very quick and convenient.

Furthermore

, social

media

help

people

of all ages to be aware of things that are happening in the world. Important information or news in everyday life

such

as current affairs, political events, crime, business, and sports are shared across these websites, which equip

people

with a wider knowledge.

Finally

, there is

also

an entertainment factor. After a stressful day at work,

people

may turn

into

Change preposition

show examples

social

media

to take a break and have a peaceful mind. They can surf these sites to occupy their time. These are the major merits of social

media

plaforms

Correct your spelling

platforms

However

, there are a few drawbacks

Change preposition

show examples

social

media

. The most common and prominent issue is scams and online

thefs

Correct your spelling

thefts

threats

theft

. To elaborate, some hackers may create a similar

account

to disguise as someone you know. i.e. your friend. Let's say the hackers ask for your phone number because they claim that they have lost it. The hacker

then

may ask to share your personal details. Once the data is shared, even though your

account

is made private, hackers can use the information and do something to hack your

account

or steal your money.

This

could be the reason why certain

people

think social

media

is dangerous. To conclude, despite the disadvantages of social

media

, in my opinion, the benefits are more significant.

Submitted by yanizainal5 on Tue Feb 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?

Populations in developing nations are rapidly growing, people now believe that we should turn to GM crops to increase the production of food grains. Discuss the Advantages and Disadvantages of this approach.