IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

#employees #work #home #technology #people #benefit #workers #employers
The use of
computers
 has become prevalent nowadays, using them for teaching purposes may benefit
students
 a lot.
On the other hand
,
this
 might cause a lot of problems
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
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 the learners. I,
however
, opine that
computers
 should be used at school.
This
 essay will discuss both views at length. First and foremost, using
technology
 in class helps both the teacher and the
students
. It may save time and energy for the teacher and enhance understanding for the
students
.
Therefore
, I think
technology
 should be introduced in class for teaching purposes.
For example
, during a lecture, as part of the lesson, the tutor may instruct learners to pose and watch a certain video on
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 about the current topic .
This
 may help other learners to understand better.
On the other hand
, using
computers
 may be beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
 and teachers from developed countries because most poor states do not afford
technology
 for their schools.
For instance
, in Zimbabwe, most schools, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural settings, rural settings do not have even buildings for the pupils, most of the time they learn under a tree. In
such
 cases, introducing
computers
 is impossible as a lot of development and help is needed. I think the government must work towards developing them because we are now living in a digitalised world In conclusion, I think
technology
 should be allowed in class as it enhances teaching and understanding though some children from poor nations may be affected. In
such
 cases, I think the government must help develop
such
 schools. These and other issues have been discussed in the above essay.

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all aspects of the topic. Don't just provide reasons in favor of using technology, but also address the potential problems and drawbacks, as the prompt requests.
coherence and cohesion
Work on effectively organizing your ideas to ensure that they flow logically and coherently. Make sure to include an introduction and conclusion that reflect the content of the essay, and provide clear connections between ideas throughout the essay.

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