IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 technical world, people are getting a good amount of income for the job they are doing in an organization. If a person works for
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 senior position
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 his experience they are paid more
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others get
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower

It seems that less may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 salary. I totally agree with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 point and explain the reasons for
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in the below essay.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, Folks having senior management positions in any system have more experience and better capability of dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply

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problems as compared to an employee at
the
Correct article usage
a

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 lower grade .
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have to work hard to manage the people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 are reporting to them.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, A senior manager in a company takes care of two or more teams.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he will be paid more because of his talent and increased responsibility.
In contrast
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to the above point, Employees of an office at a lower seat are paid less because they have less experience and have to complete their job
at the end
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of the day.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, A new college hire in any organization need not worry about the business to run a company. He just needs to focus on learning the things to do in an efficient way. Another reason is that it's not a good practice to pay more for a less experienced employee at the lower post which is the biggest reason they are having low salaries. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, Any good organization is paying more to a senior post because of their workload and knowledge . In my opinion,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is a positive thing that an employee should get less wage as a comparison to his manager having more knowledge.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting ideas that are logically arranged. Connect ideas with transitional words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. Consider elaborating on the impact of seniority on salaries in different industries or companies to support your points more effectively.
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