IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #management #positions #companies #salaries #employees #company #organization
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In
this
 technical world, people are getting a good amount of income for the job they are doing in a system. If a person works for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 senior position
due to
 his experience they are paid more
while
 others get
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
show examples
 salary. I totally agree with
this
 point and explain the reasons for
this
 in the below essay.
To begin
 with, Folks having senior management positions in any organization have more experience and better capability of dealing with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems as compared to an employee at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower post .
Secondly
, they have to work hard to manage the people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are reporting to them.
For instance
, A senior manager in a company takes care of two or more teams.
Hence
, he will be paid more because of his talent and increased responsibility.
In contrast
 to the above point, Employees of an office at a lower seat are paid less because they have less experience and have to complete their job
at the end
 of the day.
For example
, A new college hire in any system need not worry about the business to run it. He just needs to focus on learning the things to do in an efficient way. Another reason is that it's not a good practice to pay more for a less experienced employee at the lower position which is the biggest reason they are having low salaries. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell
show examples
, Any good organization is paying more to a senior post because of their workload and knowledge . In my ,opinion
this
 is a positive thing that an employee should get less salary
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comparison to his manager having more knowledge.
Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement at the beginning that directly addresses the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical flow of ideas by organizing paragraphs more effectively.
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