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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour
Nowadays,
violence
 on social media is becoming a serious problem that
happening
Change the form of the verb
happens
show examples
. Many
people
 argue that
this
 trend can damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, others claim that these factors can affect
people
's behaviour. In my opinion, I believe that
this
 kind of
violence
 does not affect our society.
To begin
 with, the programs that are being put on television should take measures,
such
 that they do not include extreme
violence
. Some
people
 do not have any plans on hurting
people
;
however
, if they are not mentally stable, they can be affected. Up to now, there are many examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 serious problems. Many kids have been affected and murdered
their
Change preposition
by their
show examples
 friends, parents,
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
, due to the
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 scenes on TV and computer games.
However
, watching TV and playing computer games that have
violence
 can have some advantages. Some
people
 learned how to protect
themshelves
Correct your spelling
themselves
 only by doing these. These activities are
also
 a good way to reduce stress from work and school. In conclusion, the government should share the knowledge about
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of
this
 trend. I strongly believe that other factors influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's behaviour in
the
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apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by hoangthanhnam.dav on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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