IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

#climate #change #phenomenon #countries #world #people #responsibility #individuals #corporations #governments
Climate
change
 is a very real danger that threatens not only our lives but
also
 the quality of life of future generations. To combat
this
 I strongly disagree that
individuals
 need to take
responsibility
 because
governments
, in cooperation with private companies have both a greater
responsibility
 and capacity in
this
 matter.
Climate
change
 cannot simply be the
responsibility
 of private citizens because they do not have the ability to affect large systemic changes in the way that
governments
 in conjunction with corporations do. People can only contribute in small ways; for every person who recycles there are several people who do not and there is no certain way to
change
this
.
Governments
,
on the other hand
, can enact legislation requiring both
individuals
 and large corporations to abide by certain restrictions. Laws for corporations are the real solution as they contribute by far the most to
climate
change
 and by reducing how much waste
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
 and how they treat that waste,
climate
change
 can be seriously countered. The
second
 reason
governments
 should be responsible for combating
climate
change
 is that
governments
 are responsible for global problems while
individuals
 should only have to deal with local and personal problems. A person should only concern themselves with their job and personal life because
that is
 the extent of their
responsibility
.
Governments
 are responsible for various things related to their citizens including security, health care in some cases, and education. Included
in security
Correct your spelling
insecurity
show examples
 is the environment because it impacts
citizen’s
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
show examples
 well-being;
therefore
this
 falls under the remit of governmental
responsibility
.
Individuals
 will never be able to have the effect government will and it is not their
responsibility
 at any rate. In my opinion,
governments
, by taking measures to rein in corporate and private waste are taking up their rightful burden.
Submitted by aamsyar777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • phenomenon
  • responsibility
  • address
  • crucial role
  • impact
  • collaboration
  • carbon footprint
  • regulations
  • policies
  • incentivize
  • act responsibly
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!