The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

Considering the fact that
children
are much easier to be influenced by
violency
Correct your spelling
violence
captured in
movies
or
video
games
rather than older people, parents worry about the negative outcomes of these visuals.
Although
various issues can be caused by
these imagery
Change the determiner
this imagery
these imageries
show examples
, there are many straightforward steps and measures that we can take to ameliorate the damages. Probably the main problem that may occur, is the negative changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a child’s
behaviour
. After
constently
Correct your spelling
constantly
consistently
being influenced by
violenc
Correct your spelling
violence
violent
through
video
games
or tv shows,
children
tend to start to think that
thise
Correct your spelling
this
these
behaviour
is normal and they are supposed to act like that.
This
later on
Add the comma(s)
, later on,
show examples
can lead to
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
serious issues
such
as physical violence at
such
young age. They may start fighting with their peers more often, and even in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
they may unintentionally physically hurt some of their friends, which can be a result of those violent visuals that they are used to
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
. Other
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
wrong
behaviour
and
physicall
Correct your spelling
physical
violenc
Correct your spelling
violence
, it seems that, because of spending too much time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing violent
video
games
, these
children
are more likely to have mental health
problems
as well, they might have a hard time communicating with others, develop socialising issues etc. All of these mental health
problems
, if not treated early, can lead to major ones when they get older, causing
nomerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
types of
problems
in their everyday lives. Turning to possible solutions, the key step that we can take is encouraging industries to
sensore
Correct your spelling
ensure
some imagery as much as possible, or to put age limitations while
downloadingsome
Correct your spelling
downloading some
of these
video
games
or
movies
. Another measure that
paents
Correct your spelling
parents
paints
can take is putting some restrictions in their home regarding listening to
sme
Correct your spelling
some
songs or watching
espesific
Correct your spelling
specific
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
movies
that contain
violency
Correct your spelling
violence
. To conclude, even though violence in some
movies
and
video
games
can cause both mental and
behaviour
Replace the word
behavioral
show examples
problems
in
children
, there can be many remedies
such
as home restrictions or age limitations on game applications.
Submitted by varandngu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: