IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #positions #salaries #workers #company #people #isn
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It is
commoly
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commonly
tought
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taught
thought
unjustice
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injustice
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, when in a big number of countries well-paid salary get only, who in senior positions but at the same time the younger generation do not receive the same salary as an elder one
nevertheless
 they are in the one
company
. I completely disagree with
this
 notion and in
this
 essay, I try to explain my position.
To begin
 with,
an
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the
show examples
 experience of
yongsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 who want to have a big income to compare with high position employee. It is too
striky
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sticky
 for
company
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the company
a company
show examples
 to pay high fee whole staff members despite their work's experience, age, ability to solve problems.
Furthermore
,
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an unexperienced
the unexperienced
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unexperienced
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inexperienced
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 person could not
to
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apply
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face
with
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apply
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troubles which can
be appear
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appear
show examples
 for a while.
Also
,
younger
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a younger
the younger
show examples
member
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members
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 of
team
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the team
a team
show examples
, by far would not have
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necessary
necessery
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the necessery
show examples
 outlook, to create a suitable
atmoshere
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atmosphere
 for work.
Secondly
,
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freshmen
freshmen's
freshman
freshmens
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freshmen
show examples
 often tend to be lazier than experienced workers
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be a disadvantage for their
company
.
Moreover
, beginners are people who have just started their adult life so they have a number of duties,
responsebilities
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responsibilities
 and other problems related to family or life. It may
seen
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be seen
see
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 as the most
unjustice
Replace the word
unjust
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 thing in their life for newcomers who do not take care
about
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of
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 or their
responsebilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 but only want to earn more and more money. From my point of view,
this
 kind of
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee
show examples
do
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does
show examples
 not think about
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 prestige which can be bad for
firm
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the firm
show examples
 or
company
. To conclude, I strongly disagree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
 that senior
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 ger a higher salary than newcomers.
This
curcumstance
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circumstance
 to help recruits improve their desire to work more and gain experience by doing everyday
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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