In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is
commoly
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commonly

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tought
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taught
thought

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unjustice
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injustice

The word unjustice doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, when in a big number of countries well-paid salary get only, who in senior positions but at the same time the younger generation do not receive the same salary as an elder one
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are in the one
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion and in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I try to explain my position.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,
an
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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experience of
yongsters
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youngsters

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who want to have a big income to compare with high position employee. It is too
striky
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sticky

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for
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

company
Add an article
the company
a company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to pay high fee whole staff members despite their work's experience, age, ability to solve problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
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an unexperienced
the unexperienced
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unexperienced
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inexperienced

The word unexperienced doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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person could not
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb could not. Consider removing it.

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face
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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troubles which can
be appear
Change the verb form
appear

It appears that the form of the verb appear does not work with be in this sentence.

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for a while.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
younger
Add an article
a younger
the younger

The noun phrase younger member seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members

It seems that member may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
team
Add an article
the team
a team

The noun phrase team seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, by far would not have
Correct your spelling
necessary
necessery
Correct article usage
the necessery

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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outlook, to create a suitable
atmoshere
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atmosphere

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for work.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Correct your spelling
freshmen
freshmen's
freshman
freshmens
Correct your spelling
freshmen

It appears that the noun freshmens is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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often tend to be lazier than experienced workers
what
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can be a disadvantage for their
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, beginners are people who have just started their adult life so they have a number of duties,
responsebilities
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responsibilities

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and other problems related to family or life. It may
seen
Change the verb form
be seen
see

The verb seen after the modal verb may does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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as the most
unjustice
Replace the word
unjust

The word unjustice doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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thing in their life for newcomers who do not take care
about
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

company
Add an article
the company

The noun phrase company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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or their
responsebilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities

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but only want to earn more and more money. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

kind of
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee

It seems that employees may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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do
Change the verb form
does

The plural verb do does not appear to agree with the singular subject kind. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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not think about
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

company's
Correct article usage
the company's

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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prestige which can be bad for
firm
Correct article usage
the firm

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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or
company
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To conclude, I strongly disagree with
statement
Add an article
the statement

The noun phrase statement seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that senior
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions

It seems that position may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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ger a higher salary than newcomers.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

curcumstance
Correct your spelling
circumstance

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to help recruits improve their desire to work more and gain experience by doing everyday
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks

It seems that task may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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