IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #film #industry #influence #world #governments #duty #money #industries #cultures
The US
film
 producers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a greater impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
film
 production all over the planet. I support the idea that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 our legislators is
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
 to fund their individual
film
industries
 to safeguard and promote their norms. In the coming
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 I'm going to elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 point regarding
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, our state's
film
 production
industries
 do not have a lot of
films
 due to lack of funds which I assume that our government must sponsor
such
 kid of
industries
 since they help
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 building our country's own
culture
. If the state's people continue to watch movies from other countries like the US they will end up adopting the US
culture
instead
 of promoting their own cultural norms. You will find that these US
films
 have
an impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
an impact
impacts
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 by hearing how our kids talk they can rebuke their adults copying it from the
films
 that they see without knowing that
I
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 accordance
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
culture
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a bad thing.
Secondly
, foreign
films
also
 erode our self-respect. By so doing it would promote things like phonography as people get addicted I watching movies
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not recommended for them. If the government promotes their own
film
industries
 it will be a great advantage not for them only but for the whole nation as a whole since that would help in educating the coming generation of our own
culture
. To summarise,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 a state's own government responsibility to fund their
film
 production
industries
.
Submitted by tfungwe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!