Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What’s action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #what’s #action

Nowadays, in

this

capitalist

society

Add a comma

,society

show examples

many

people

feel the need to buy

things

that are not essential to their lives. These could be items ranging from designer, icon, clothes, watch, and expensive cars. It led to an effect on

Correct article usage

the finance

show examples

finance

Replace the word

financial

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and push us into debt. In the following, I will discuss the aims of

this

essay

therefore

to identify

Change the verb form

identifying

show examples

the reasons for

this behaviors

Change the determiner

this behavior

these behaviors

show examples

and how we could avoid

this

happening. Many

people

buy

things

that are not necessary, they may want to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their psychological appetite.

For example

, some

people

buy fantasy

things

because their friends buy

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

too, another example

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

people

buy some fantasy goods to collect like watches, bags, and some limited collections, it kind of shopping addiction. Some of them use all of their money to shop in fantasy stuff even they understood they cannot afford and used a credit card or loaded from a bank, that effect to family in financial crisis, some

people

need to see shrink treatment for help. I have 2 suggestions to prevent

people

from having

this

problem.

First

, they could stop or cut the services of credit cards,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can reduce the debt in

Correct article usage

the finance

show examples

finance

Replace the word

financial

show examples

crisis.

Second

, they can do more exercises to distract

shopping

Change preposition

from shopping

show examples

addiction. Doing exercises can improve the body's health and

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

more time

instead

of shopping. In conclusion, I have no doubt buying

things

is happiness and everyone should be like

this

, but we have to definitely understand what

things

we need to buy or not to buy. Don’t make the happy

things

to bad

things

Submitted by maxkaeye on Thu Mar 17 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What’s action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is educate people in prison. So they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one, what are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property

In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before. Some people sayan aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and society?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?