IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
There is
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 trend to use credit cards in market economies nowadays.
Although
this
 situation has some backwards, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of advantages which overweigh them the main benefits are supporting
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 economy and
satisfy
Wrong verb form
satisfying
show examples
 basic
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 needs. A modern world
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 a lot of opportunities
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
realize plenty of a
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
wish
Change the verb form
wishes
show examples
.
However
, the
inflow
Change the verb form
inflowing
show examples
 money often does not allow to satisfy that needs in case it is expensive. Using credit cards
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 to get goods or services in advance and pay
off
Correct pronoun usage
them off
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comfortable schedule.
For example
,
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new laptop for the student
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will increase his productivity.
Also
 increasing consumption of quality and expensive things and services is
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 economy
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 in
tern
Correct your spelling
turn
show examples
 leads to
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of the citizens. Buying
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 laptop let the
compony
Correct your spelling
company
show examples
 invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing new products or improvement existed.
However
, the main disadvantage is in overusing or uncontrol purchasing the staff by people, which have
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
 discipline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
finance
Correct article usage
the finance
show examples
 area. And it could influence negatively
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person as to general
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 situation in a country
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a whole.
For instance
,
buying
Change preposition
by buying
show examples
 useless expensive gadget the family could face to
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 problems in case one member
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sick and
temporary
Change the adjective
temporarily
show examples
 lose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 source of income. The growing frequency of paying by
cards
Fix the agreement mistake
card
show examples
 can be described by the possibility to allowed get before unavailable staff or services for a person. And, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rational consumption, it boosts an economy grows and
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of products.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: