IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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There is
growing
Add an article
a growing
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 trend to use credit cards in market economies nowadays.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 situation has some backwards, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a lot of advantages which overweigh them the main benefits are supporting
growing
Replace the word
growth
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 of
an
Correct article usage
the
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 economy and
satisfy
Wrong verb form
satisfying
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 basic
people
Change noun form
people's
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 needs. A modern world
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
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 a lot of opportunities
to
Remove the particle
apply
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realize plenty of a
person
Change noun form
person's
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wish
Change the verb form
wishes
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
inflow
Change the verb form
inflowing
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 money often does not allow to satisfy that needs in case it is expensive. Using credit cards
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
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 to get goods or services in advance and pay
off
Correct pronoun usage
them off
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 comfortable schedule.
For example
Linking Words
,
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
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 for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new laptop for the student
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will increase his productivity.
Also
Linking Words
 increasing consumption of quality and expensive things and services is
reason
Add an article
the reason
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of
Change preposition
for
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growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 economy
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 in
tern
Correct your spelling
turn
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 leads to
an
Remove the article
apply
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increase
Change the verb form
increased
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wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 of the citizens. Buying
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 laptop let the
compony
Correct your spelling
company
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 invest
to
Change preposition
in
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 developing new products or improvement existed.
However
Linking Words
, the main disadvantage is in overusing or uncontrol purchasing the staff by people, which have
low
Add an article
the low
a low
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 discipline
of
Change preposition
in
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finance
Correct article usage
the finance
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 area. And it could influence negatively
as to
Change preposition
apply
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a person as to general
finance
Replace the word
financial
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 situation in a country
in
Change preposition
as
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 a whole.
For instance
Linking Words
,
buying
Change preposition
by buying
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 useless expensive gadget the family could face to
finance
Replace the word
financial
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 problems in case one member
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sick and
temporary
Change the adjective
temporarily
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 lose
the
Correct article usage
a
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 source of income. The growing frequency of paying by
cards
Fix the agreement mistake
card
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 can be described by the possibility to allowed get before unavailable staff or services for a person. And, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
a
Remove the article
apply
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rational consumption, it boosts an economy grows and
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of products.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
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