Many parents complain about violence promoted to their children through video games, TV programs and other media. Why is it happening? What can be the solution for it?

#parents #violence #children #video #games #tv #programs #media

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays

violence

Use synonyms

advertised

Add a missing verb

is advertised

show examples

children

Use synonyms

via video games, TV

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

other social media platforms, which is named Instagram and Twitter.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why

parents

Use synonyms

complain with regard to

harmful

Correct article usage

the harmful

show examples

effects of

violence

Use synonyms

is illustrated to their

children

Use synonyms

besides

Linking Words

, what they should do to avoid

children

Use synonyms

from

these promotion

Change the determiner

this promotion

these promotions

show examples

First

Linking Words

of all, numerous

parents

Use synonyms

demand to bring up their

children

Use synonyms

without

violence

Use synonyms

since the fact that

children

Use synonyms

can use

violence

Use synonyms

in their future

life

Use synonyms

is frighten their

parents

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

attribute bad

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

of their

children

Use synonyms

to these advertisements consisting

violence

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, they deter their

children

Use synonyms

from using

violence

Use synonyms

in every respect.

Furthermore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

have

gut

Add an article

a gut

show examples

feeling about imitating their

children

Use synonyms

what

Change preposition

on what

show examples

they see

Change preposition

show examples

TV or

video

Change preposition

in video

show examples

games.These advertisements

Change the verb form

are

show examples

demonstrated to

children

Use synonyms

how they can adapt

those harmful attitude

Change the determiner

that harmful attitude

those harmful attitudes

show examples

in their

life

Use synonyms

by appealing to

children

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

reach a consensus on

detrimental

Correct article usage

the detrimental

show examples

effects of

violence

Use synonyms

on their

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

lives. As far as I am concerned, the best solution for

this

Linking Words

issue is that these commercials ought to be prohibited by the government.What is more, only by warning can

parents

Use synonyms

solve

this

Linking Words

problem if they do not have any

chances

Fix the agreement mistake

chance

show examples

. Yet, sometimes

children

Use synonyms

insist on not

Change preposition

apply

show examples

caring

out

Change preposition

about

show examples

what

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

tell them. When

parents

Use synonyms

are faced with

Add an article

a problem

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

this

Linking Words

doctors

Change noun form

doctors'

doctor's

show examples

appointment

Fix the agreement mistake

appointments

show examples

, who is educated

children

Use synonyms

psychology

Change preposition

on psychology

show examples

should be arranged

Change preposition

for

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

.Since having talked,

children

Use synonyms

can easily admit their guilt. In conclusion, so long as

children

Use synonyms

enforce a rule

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

implemented

Add a missing verb

is implemented

show examples

by their

parents

Use synonyms

, they can

declined

Change the verb form

decline

show examples

the effects of

violence

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

life

Use synonyms

. Taking everything into account, deficiency of awareness plays a vital role in

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

life

Use synonyms

;

however

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

can help their

children

Use synonyms

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem.

Additionally

Linking Words

, banning these

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

commercial

Correct your spelling

commercials

show examples

can be a solution for

this

Linking Words

issue

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

or authorized people can do.

Submitted by haticecoza on Mon Apr 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In several countries, many people believe that spending large sums of money on high-speed rail systems between cities is essential, while others argue that funds should be allocated to improving existing public transport. This essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe that investing in the transportation system is a significant trend in today’s society.
7
band
Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Engaging in extracurricular activities such as social clubs and sports is a common practice among university students. These activities provide a range of benefits but also come with certain drawbacks. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of participating in extracurricular activities at university.
4.5
band
Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution poblems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays people have to face with harmful consequences of air pollution because of vehicle traffics on the roads, and I totally conform that authorities should be responsible for resolving this issue.
7
band
With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?
In the contemporary epoch, there is irrefutable debate among folk about the necessity of fossil fuels contrary to the past. While there are a lot of devastating impacts beyond a few benefits such as the need for space projects it would be wiped out nearly in future. In my perspective, the flaws outstrip the advantages. In this essay, I am going to examine both edges in the forthcoming paragraphs.
7
band
Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.
The debate between attending live sporting events and watching them from the comfort of home has been a perennial topic among sports enthusiasts. Both options offer distinct advantages, and personal preferences often dictate one's choice. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives using personal examples and evaluate whether this trend constitutes a positive or negative development.

Many parents complain about violence promoted to their children through video games, TV programs and other media. Why is it happening? What can be the solution for it?

Fully explain your ideas

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution poblems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.