In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many years ago,

world

Use synonyms

war

Fix the agreement mistake

wars

show examples

occurred in two-phase phases

well-known

Punctuation problem

, well-known

show examples

World

Use synonyms

War I and

World

Use synonyms

War II. In that

situation

Use synonyms

, each ally consists of several countries that are led by male leaders. Considering that

situation

Use synonyms

, some people argue that

women

Use synonyms

would be better

Verb problem

suited to

show examples

lead than men because

women

Use synonyms

can

address

Verb problem

create

show examples

a well-ordered and more peaceful

world

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

my view, the argument

is not

Verb problem

cannot

show examples

able to be truly agreed upon because a great leader is not seen by

gender

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the capability that can make a leader a role model. First of all, it is obvious that

women

Use synonyms

and men have their own character. The argument in the essay might be supported by the fact that men always tend to act

assault

Rephrase

more aggressively

show examples

in some

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

than

women

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

situation

Use synonyms

in the past

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

not only caused by

gender

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

by high conflicts of interest that could

be happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

to any

gender

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

Margareth

Use the right word

Margaret

show examples

Thatcher, Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, preferred to seize a territory through warfare with Argentina

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

show examples

way.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Aung San Suu Kyi,

Former

Correct article usage

the Former

show examples

President of Myanmar, was not competent to control the internal country

situation

Use synonyms

hence

Linking Words

there was a coup d’etat by the military,

as well as

Linking Words

she let the Rohingya Conflict continue

making

Punctuation problem

, making

show examples

some of her people suffer. In fact that both are female leaders.

Next,

Linking Words

there are some male leaders who can be role models that bring peacefulness

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as Nelson

Mandella

Use the right word

Mandela

show examples

and Mahatma Gandhi. Nelson

Mandella

Use the right word

Mandela

show examples

, Former President of South Africa, who

fight

Wrong verb form

fought

show examples

the race discrimination

issue

Check wording

apply

show examples

in a peaceful way.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Mahatma Gandhi, one of the political figures in India,

can lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

the independence of India and

also

Linking Words

highly

support

Wrong verb form

supported

show examples

human rights without violence. To

summarize

Change the spelling

summarise

show examples

violence

Correct article usage

the violence

show examples

that happened is not fully caused by

gender

Use synonyms

factors. It is obvious that

gender

Use synonyms

has its own character.

However

Linking Words

, capability and leadership style are the main keys which can lead

Use synonyms

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

to be well-ordered and more peaceful.

nohan.bhadrika

Apr 23, 2022

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task

State a clear view in one line in the opening. Say if you agree or not. Give two or three reasons and one or two easy examples. End with a short finish.

coherence

Plan the essay well. Put one idea in each paragraph. Start with a small topic sentence. Use simple link words like and, but, so to show how ideas go together. Keep sentences short.

stance

The writer shows a clear view against the idea.

examples

Examples are used to show both sides of the issue.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

male-dominated leadership
empathetic
cooperative
inclusive society
governance
diversity
sustainable peace
social welfare
collaborative approach
international relations
leadership qualities
decision-making processes

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In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?