Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an argument about helping the
state
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
preserve cultural values and art by donating its facilities.
while
knowing the government could invest in some more critical topics
such
as environmental problems or educational matters, I believe that local cultures of every country are part of
this
heritage and at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
art portrays the history of a nation beautifully. So both the governing and private companies have the responsibility to conserve it as they can many benefits for people and history. Without any doubt, these days, society is faced with a wide range of problems affected by climate change and global warming issues, which need capitalizing to decrease
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
underlying repercussions.
Also
, we need to invest more in the educational system as improving the general knowledge of individuals
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
mostly children and teenagers should be necessary everywhere, especially in deprived regions.
For example
,
last
year, because of
Corona Virus
Replace the word
the coronavirus
show examples
, many public schools in the villages of Iran did not have access to the internet for online classes.
This
possibility was provided for them by allocating the free charge wireless network by the
state
and definitely.
On the other hand
, one of the precious treasures of every nation is its cultural heritage and it should be preserved for the future.
This
importance does not have access without all-around support from the government and private sector. One way
that
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
succeeded in many areas, is
making
Change preposition
by making
show examples
over some
state
complexes for the art and cultural activities. A great example of
this
issue is museums, which are situated in governmental buildings. Of course, in
this
way, cultural heritage and mores are protected and at the same time, the
state
could invest in a lot of international eager visitors. In conclusion,
while
knowing that there are many vital topics that should be invested
by
Change preposition
in by
show examples
the governing, I would say, it is an irrefutable fact that corporation and cooperation between the
state
and the private sector
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
necessary. In
this
way, we will witness our cultural diffusion around the globe. I think it is an undeniable source of income which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
condone
Wrong verb form
be condoned
show examples
.
Submitted by z.sheikhnajdi on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the central idea and perspective on the topic. Develop a more structured approach to coherence and cohesion by using appropriate transition words and linking phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Focus on clearly addressing all aspects of the given topic, including a balanced discussion of both views and a clear expression of your own opinion. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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