Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Currently, when violent action movies and

games

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are widely available on TV and

games

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, there are some opinions that it is causing bad effects on

society

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. While there are some arguments to be made to deny that

violence

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television

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or in

games

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affects human

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Personally, I believe it will have a bad impact on our

society

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. On the one hand,

violence

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television

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and in computer

games

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has no significant effect on human

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behavior

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behaviour

show examples

Dr.

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show examples

Christopher Ferguson - a psychologist specializing in violent

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behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, through his research, found no evidence that there is a link between playing video

games

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and increasing a sense of actual aggression in children.

Moreover

Linking Words

, watching violent programs on

television

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or in

games

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is not a subjective cause of violent

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, but mainly due to the living environment.

For example

Linking Words

, children who have to witness domestic

violence

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many times will have

aversion

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an aversion

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, fear that others will harm them, and

act

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the act

an act

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violence

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to protect themselves.

On the other hand

Linking Words

violence

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television

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and in computer

games

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has a very bad effect on

society

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First

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, violent

games

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or programs will cause different pressures on players

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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health, daily activities, time spent with it, communication,

cognitive

Correct word choice

and cognitive

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and emotional activities.

Furthermore

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, frequent exposure to scenes of

violence

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in any situation can make people insensitive to

violence

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and individuals may engage in violent acts towards outsiders and outsiders. Especially, when children are exposed early to harmful things

such

Linking Words

violence

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through

games

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television

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programs, it will affect their personality, psychology,

cognition

Correct word choice

and cognition

show examples

, which can lead to violent

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behavior

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behaviour

show examples

towards others. Future. In summary,

violence

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television

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and in computer

games

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will have a significant effect on human

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and adversely affect

society

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, despite conflicting opinions.

hoangthanhnam.dav

May 4, 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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