Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

#people #school #rate #unemployment #society #situation

According to the data, nowadays 30% of the young people

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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quitting

from

Change preposition

apply

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school and the trend is increasing yearly.

Although

the reasons behind

this

phenomenon are not sufficiently clear to make the right conclusions, we do know that there are important consequences,

such

as unemployment, for the individuals and our

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

. In

this

short essay, I would like to discuss how the situation can be improved, as well as give some examples that could dispel some crucial concerns.

Firstly

, it is important to mention that young generations have a very different

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

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about the role that education should play. The literature on the subject indicates that people between 15 and 25 years old

prefer

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toprefer

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travel abroad than study because, for them,

know

Wrong verb form

knowing

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the world

first hand

Add a hyphen

first-hand

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result more useful than

read

Wrong verb form

reading

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about it. In my own experience, getting

know

Fix the infinitive

to know

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other places has always been a very important part of my own education as it has allowed me to enrich my perspective

about

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show examples

the world. In

this

sense, empowering students to travel abroad as an important part of their courses could be an interesting opportunity to prevent them from dropping out of their studies.

Secondly

, there are plenty of articles that show us how the universities are disconnected from what the companies currently are needing. In view of that, students perceive their programmes as outdated and unuseful to pursue their future ambitions. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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having spaces where the

yonger

Correct your spelling

younger

generations can learn the most actionable items related to where they want to work in the future seems to me

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a good solution. In conclusion, even though the problem is multifactorial, there are plenty of creative chances we as a society can take to motivate adolescents to continue with their education.

Submitted by verzuba on Wed May 04 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those relate to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries, recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railways for very fast train between cities. other belive the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?