IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

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According to the data, nowadays 30% of the young people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 quitting
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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school and the trend is increasing yearly.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the reasons behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 phenomenon are not sufficiently clear to make the right conclusions, we do know that there are important consequences,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as unemployment, for the individuals and our
socities
Correct your spelling
societies

If you don’t want socities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 short essay, I would like to discuss how the situation can be improved, as well as give some examples that could dispel some crucial concerns.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is important to mention that young generations have a very different
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas

It seems that idea may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 about the role that education should play. The literature on the subject indicates that people between 15 and 25 years old
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer

It appears that the verb travel should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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 travel abroad than study because, for them,
know
Wrong verb form
knowing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb know. Consider changing it.

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 the world
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

first hand
Add a hyphen
first-hand

It appears that first hand is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 result more useful than
read
Wrong verb form
reading

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb read. Consider changing it.

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 about it. In my own experience, getting
know
Fix the infinitive
to know

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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 other places has always been a very important part of my own education as it has allowed me to enrich my perspective
about
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the world. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 sense, empowering students to travel abroad as an important part of their courses could be an interesting opportunity to prevent them from dropping out of their studies.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are plenty of articles that show us how the universities are disconnected from what the companies currently are needing. In view of that, students perceive their programmes as outdated and unuseful to pursue their future ambitions. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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having spaces where the
yonger
Correct your spelling
younger

If you don’t want yonger to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

generations can learn the most actionable items related to where they want to work in the future seems to me
as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
a good solution. In conclusion, even though the problem is multifactorial, there are plenty of creative chances we as a society can take to motivate adolescents to continue with their education.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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