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some people are convinced that mature age employees are beneficial to a company. Others think that younger employees contribute more and hence are more beneficial to a company. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #age #employees #company
Some nation says that senior citizens are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 resources
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a company.Some claim that youth are more useful.The growth of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 depends on entrepreneurs
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 sincere
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 companies .In my perspective,well experiences are more confident to build up the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 to the
work
.
Both
 will be discussed below the paragraph. On the one hand,
firstly
 mature age are expert in doing
work
.Till now they have brought up so many changes in the country.Because they have been doing
Correct pronoun usage
it everytime
show examples
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
.
For instance
,in the tourism industry person who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been doing
guide
Correct article usage
a guide
show examples
 job for years and if a person is replaced by new members
then
 there would be so many crises.
secondly
,Even tourists may not like new workers who
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 know well.I believe that only
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
 will do.
Furthermore
,Mature
employees
 can analyze
important
Change the adjective
importantly
show examples
 and utilize resources smoothly.
However
,some argue that
this
 new era is only for upcoming youth.And they state that young
employees
 can bring new methods.Nowadays,new
employees
try
Add the particle
totry
show examples
 create technology that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
work
without
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physically.
For example
,Robots ,
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 are all introduced by new
employees
.Younger
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more energetic and never tired to do
work
. Henceforth
both
 have
both
 are beneficial in different ways as I mentioned above.
Furthermore
,in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 if
both
 are given equally,companies will be always
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in stable
Correct your spelling
instable
show examples
 because of different brainstorming.
Submitted by dorjiwangmoo97 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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