IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
 pay
taxes
 to
governments
. Some believe they should give
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount
 of their wages for public
services
; whereas, other think large
taxes
 have negative impacts. From my point of view, society should not be given plenty of their
money
 which results in problems in their lives. With
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
amount
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
's salaries, authorities can provide numerous facilities for countries. They can provide society
outstanding
Change preposition
with outstanding
show examples
services
, and develop the country and living standards as well.
For example
, a developed wealthy country can renew the public transportation,
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
 bringing modern trains
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their cities.
Moreover
, more public buildings can be constructed
such
 as hospitals and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
schools. These
services
 and facilities can improve
people
's lives and make them proud
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
governments
.
On the other hand
, provided that
governments
 are paid a lot of
taxes
,
people
 would not have enough
money
 to provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
 have a huge
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
 of demand
such
 as paying for bills, educational institution fees,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, and clothes.
Although
people
 must have
prioritizing
Change the verb form
prioritized
show examples
 in spend their
money
, they should have most of their
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 to be able to provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 necessary requirements. Many employees are not paid significantly,
consequently
, if they give
most
Add an article
a most
the most
show examples
 proportion of their salaries, they cannot apply them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their demands. I believe
governments
 should consider individuals'
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in their lives, and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not give a lot of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 various
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about the
amount
 of
money
 for giving
taxes
 to authorities. Many believe
this
amount
 should be high to develop countries'
services
 and facilities.
However
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe these high
taxes
 cannot solve individuals' needs.
Submitted by kimiasphri on

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