IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 to
governments
Use synonyms
. Some believe they should give
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of their wages for public
services
Use synonyms
; whereas, other think large
taxes
Use synonyms
 have negative impacts. From my point of view, society should not be given plenty of their
money
Use synonyms
 which results in problems in their lives. With
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's salaries, authorities can provide numerous facilities for countries. They can provide society
outstanding
Change preposition
with outstanding
show examples
services
Use synonyms
, and develop the country and living standards as well.
For example
Linking Words
, a developed wealthy country can renew the public transportation,
like
Change preposition
by
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 bringing modern trains
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their cities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more public buildings can be constructed
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals and
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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schools. These
services
Use synonyms
 and facilities can improve
people
Use synonyms
's lives and make them proud
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
governments
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, provided that
governments
Use synonyms
 are paid a lot of
taxes
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,
people
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 would not have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
 have a huge
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
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 of demand
such
Linking Words
 as paying for bills, educational institution fees,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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, and clothes.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 must have
prioritizing
Change the verb form
prioritized
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 in spend their
money
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, they should have most of their
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 to be able to provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 necessary requirements. Many employees are not paid significantly,
consequently
Linking Words
, if they give
most
Add an article
a most
the most
show examples
 proportion of their salaries, they cannot apply them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their demands. I believe
governments
Use synonyms
 should consider individuals'
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in their lives, and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not give a lot of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 various
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about the
amount
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 of
money
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 for giving
taxes
Use synonyms
 to authorities. Many believe
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 should be high to develop countries'
services
Use synonyms
 and facilities.
However
Linking Words
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe these high
taxes
Use synonyms
 cannot solve individuals' needs.
Submitted by kimiasphri on

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