The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia.
The line graphs provide information about the
numbers
of
men
and
women
of the Republic of Freedonia who are employed in 6 different areas in 1975 and 1995.
Overall
, it can be seen that in 1975 the
number
of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
is higher than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in all categories but in 1995
women
started to be ahead of
men
in some sectors
suxh
Correct your spelling
such
as communications, wholesale and retail trade.  In 1975 the
number
of
emloyed
Correct your spelling
employed
men
in manufacturing is about 700
while
women
take only 300. As for
communications
Add a comma
,communications
show examples
there are almost the same
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of people but in the finance
category
Add a comma
,category
show examples
there are nearly 200
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
and more than 400
men
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
wholesale and retail trade
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
about 500
women
and 700
men
while
in the public
sector
(non-defence) these
numbers
are higher by 100 people. The
last
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
category is the public
sector
(defence) which includes 100
women
and 200
men
. It can be seen that some of these
numbers
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed in 1995. The
number
of
women
who are employed in communication increased
while
the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
men
stayed unchanged.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
the
number
of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
in the banking
sector
had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
to almost 500.
Moreover
statistics of
women
in the wholesale and public
sector
(defence)
raised
Add a missing verb
were raised
show examples
.
Submitted by aleksandra.ponomarenkoo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, men, women, number, sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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