Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

work in different places and spend the most valuable time in workplaces, some believe that paying a huge amount of income is more necessary than

job

Use synonyms

contentment. It is an inevitable fact that

this

Linking Words

idea can lead to

decreasing

Replace the word

a decrease in

show examples

the rate of

life

Use synonyms

satisfaction and

job

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performance. I strongly disagree that the huge salary plays the most influential role in the

job

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span.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the most significant reason for working is to raise the level of

life

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happiness and

life

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satisfaction. The majority of

people

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, all over the world have been finding

high powered

Add a hyphen

high-powered

show examples

jobs just for boosting

life

Use synonyms

pleasure. So, if they cannot look for promising careers, they will not enjoy their lives.

For example

Linking Words

, two years ago I worked in a company as a category manager and my income was high, after some months I understood that I could not continue and that the

job

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position was not amazing for me. So, I decided to search for another career even with a lower payment.

Therefore

Linking Words

, money is a small part of a

job

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position and boosting performance is the most important feature which

created

Wrong verb form

creates

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Use synonyms

and

life

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happiness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, boosting the quality of fulfilment

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

employees’

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

about their jobs. All

people

Use synonyms

spend their golden time in a variety of companies because they want to learn different skills and master their efficiencies. If a business cannot create

this

Linking Words

condition for them, they will lose their motivation and they will hand their resignation.

As a result

Linking Words

, a large amount of salary cannot help them to tolerate these terrible conditions.

For instance

Linking Words

, recently in my ,country most human resources

focus

Wrong verb form

have focused

show examples

on employees’ abilities and

try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

to create challenging situations for them just for better accommodating between

job

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positions and their adroitness.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it is argued

Change preposition

apply

show examples

most

people

Use synonyms

believe that big income has more positive effects on staffs’ lives. Despite the importance of money in all aspects of

life

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

pleasure plays a

curial

Correct your spelling

crucial

show examples

role in

life

Use synonyms

pleasure. In my opinion, if companies pay attention to enhancing

job

Use synonyms

contentment

instead

Linking Words

of money, they will increase the likelihood of success in competitive atmospheres significantly.

Submitted by zahra.golmohamadian on Wed May 11 2022

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improvement

Task Achievement: The response provides a clear and well-developed argument, supported by relevant examples. However, ensure a more focused discussion on the main points to improve task achievement score.

improvement

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, work on connecting the supporting points more cohesively to enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

360 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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