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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but do not work in these fields. What measures can be taken to encourage women to work in science and technology.

#parts #world #women #study #science #technology #work #fields #measures
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In
this
Linking Words
 present world,
women
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 are tending to study science and technology, and they are qualified as
an
Remove the article
apply
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engineering, doctor and stuff like that, but have no
an
Correct article usage
apply
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active role to contribute. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will give some remedial steps about how to deal with
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the solution
of
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to
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 motivating
women
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 to contribute positively to society is probably that the household chores should be shared between men and
women
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, the vast majority of the working
women
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 could not juggle both their domestic responsibilities and
grueling
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gruelling
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 workload. As a consequence,
this
Linking Words
 situation can lead the working
women
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 with the high degree to resign and even give up
from
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apply
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their professional
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 in order to do the maternal tasks;
therefore
Linking Words
, if the domestic chores are divided equally
into
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among
show examples
 family members, they will be stimulated to be more active to work in science and technology.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
women
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 are not considered in certain jobs. traditionally
women
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 have been restricted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain jobs. These days there are constant stories about
women
Use synonyms
 should work
in
Linking Words
particular
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a particular
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profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
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 which
are
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is
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 delicate
such
Linking Words
 as cooking, teaching and things like that, so if
women
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 are regarded in the determined
career
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 because of the lack of their abilities in performing technological and scientific
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, it would cause
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
women
Use synonyms
’s activity in the society and
also
Linking Words
 has
heavy
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a heavy
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 toll on
women
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 right. In conclusion,
women
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high qualification can be motivated and encouraged to work in their educated
career
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 by sharing the domestic chores equally and not
limitation
Add an article
a limitation
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
women
Change noun form
women's
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 abilities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain jobs.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

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