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Band 4.5

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.

#countries #laws #tobacco #buildings #offices #restaurants #intention #arguments #debate #conclusion #side #favour
Generally, many
people
 conceive that smoking anyway is not judicious and brings so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 hazardous effects to the community. According to
this
 social demand, Governments approved
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricted
show examples
 laws which
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 smoking forbidden in public or closed places like restaurants or offices. There are
countries
 with
Add an article
an opponent
the opponent
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opponent
Replace the word
opposing
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idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 who consider no restriction
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 smoking even in
public
Add an article
a public
the public
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Both aspects would be discussed here. Altogether, most
countries
 which promote the idea of
banding
Correct your spelling
banning
show examples
 or limiting tobacco smoking are between developed ones that extra to
this
 rule, obey many other restrictive but advanced laws like
human
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a human
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right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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, sanitarian
leges
Correct your spelling
legs
, feminine equity and etc. They sense the recent needs of their citizens and
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 respect to these necessities, manage their rules. Among these populations, we can name Scandinavian
countries
 that do their best in
this
 way. Another reason which may enforce governments in restricting tobacco at least in public is the unbridle incidence of respiratory diseases among
people
 who smoke, which, not only makes a lot of mortality and morbidity in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
,
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apply
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 but
also
 takes a huge expenditure to manage
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. So, provided that they could control the prevalence of
disease
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the disease
a disease
show examples
 among
people
 and
specially
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especially
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 youngsters, they will promote the rate of health in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
. On the other side, there are
countries
 which do not consider
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 problem and believe that many more important corners yet remain to be solved. So let
people
 how to react to
this
 difficulty by themselves. Another reason, is that may the rate of disease is not so high in the communities to be noticed or the manner of replacing
habit
Add an article
the habit
show examples
 of smoking is unknown
for
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to
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 them. Any way priority of controlling or forbidding cigarette smoking in
social
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a social
the social
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area
Change the noun form
areas
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 like restaurants or offices is not serious and not ordered. In conclusion, despite being both aspects of
this
 scheme, as I hate smoking myself and know the hazardous effects of it on the health of
people
 according to my job, prefer laws which oblige
people
 not to smoke in public places and even if it
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 possible nowhere.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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