Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #children #activities #video #games

this

tech-savvy modern world,

children

are addicted to video

games

rather than outdoor exercises or playing sports. Some parents claim that physical

activities

should be made mandatory for

children

instead

of video

games

Although

some people do not agree with

this

, I completely support their viewpoint as physical

activities

improve health and cognitive development. To commence with, one cannot deny that one of the ways to

maintian

Correct your spelling

maintain

fitness is by being active in outdoor

activities

which will help

children

to develop physique and stay healthy. To explain

further

children

who go to the gym

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

will have a good physique as they spend some

time

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

to build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

musle

Correct your spelling

muscle

For instance

children

who participate in cardiovascular

execises

Correct your spelling

exercises

and weight

lifiting

Correct your spelling

lifting

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

tend to have

Add a hyphen

six-pack

show examples

six pack

Add a hyphen

six-pack

show examples

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

In addition

gym

Add an article

the gym

a gym

show examples

, youth who regularly play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intensive outdoor sports like soccer and cricket,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are more fit as they run

everday

Correct your spelling

everyday

As a result

, they lead

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

life as

such

activities

diminish stress and obesity .

Thus

, playing sports and exercising

regulary

Correct your spelling

regularly

leads to

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life and build a great body physique.

Besides

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

physical fitness,

Particpating

Correct your spelling

Participating

in outdoor events

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age like yoga,

zumba

Change the capitalization

Zumba

show examples

dance, and

gymnatics

Correct your spelling

gymnastics

are improve brain functioning.

First

and foremost, In

children

who often participate in meditation

develops

Correct subject-verb agreement

develop

show examples

a greater memory and

respone

Correct your spelling

response

time

this

is because meditation helps youth to organise their thoughts in

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

Change the article

show examples

appropiate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

way which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to respond to

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

real

Add a hyphen

real-time

show examples

time

situatios

Correct your spelling

situations

situation

faster than others.

Besides

response

time

, exercises help them to refresh from their busy academic schedule which reduces depression

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and contributes to

achieve

Change the verb form

achieving

show examples

calm and peaceful life that improves

apptitude

Correct your spelling

aptitude

skills.

Finally

, to recapitulate, in

this

technology world

childeren

Correct your spelling

children

are inclined toward playing video

games

and

Add a missing verb

have no

show examples

intrest

Correct your spelling

interest

in playing outdoor

games

. In my opinion, I propose more physical

activities

are required for youth to

imporve

Correct your spelling

improve

their physical and mental health for the aforementioned reasons.

Submitted by rana on Sun Jun 12 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
exercise and movement
social interaction
teamwork
communication skills
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
holistic approach
environmental awareness
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
posture
balance

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar,wihch causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age group. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Problem /Solution Stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. -What do you think are the causes of this? - What solution can you suggest?

In some parts of the world, the rate of divorce has increased dramatically over the past few decades. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions.