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Band 3.5

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #men #job #police
The chart illustrates information about the level of
education
 of Bulgarian citizens who wanted to move abroad in 2002, 2006 and 2008. The highest level of
education
 for people who live in Bulgaria and wished to go outside fell in 2002 to 17 per
cent
then
 had a slight rise in the year 2006 to 20 per
cent
 and
finally
 went down in 2008 to 9 per
cent
. One of the categories of
education
 levels which was the highest in 2002, 2006 and 2008 was secondary
education
 with 65 per
cent
 in 2002,
then
 with 61 per
cent
 in 2006 and 59 per
cent
 in 2008. The chart shows us that two of the categories rose in 2006 which are higher
education
 and primary and lower
education
.
However
, the higher
education
 categories were lower in 2008 than in 2006 with a difference of 11 per
cent
 (20 per
cent
). Bulgarian people with primary and lower
education
 rose each year
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 in 2002 at 18 per
cent
, followed by 19 per
cent
 in 2006 and
ended
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up at 32 per
cent
 in 2008. All in all the most stable level of
education
 in Bulgarian society who wanted to go and live abroad in 2002, 2006 and 2008 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
education
.
Submitted by avoalbu on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas systematically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.
Task Achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support the main points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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