IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and looking after their six years old child. write a letter to the parents, in your letter explain why you would like the job give details for why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #years #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to you with regard to your
advvertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
local newspaper, I would like to apply for
this
 job.
Firslty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
First
, let me introduce myself to you, I am Jean 30 years old,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
have seven years of experience in domestic helping and
Correct your spelling
caregiving
show examples
care giving
Correct your spelling
caregiving
show examples
 jobs.
Secondly
, I have worked as a home
maid
Correct your spelling
made
show examples
 with an Australian family in Sydney and the have a child
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same age
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 yours before, with all my skills for caring and dealing with children, and how to raise them and provide
a special services
Correct the article-noun agreement
special services
a special service
show examples
, I can say that I am qualified for
this
 vacancy.
Finally
, I take online
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
 in my free time which help me to improve my skills and to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the modern methods of
Correct your spelling
caregiving
show examples
care giving
Correct your spelling
caregiving
show examples
 and domestic
helpers
Fix the agreement mistake
helper
show examples
taskes
Correct your spelling
tasks
tasked
. I
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
 involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the social debate group which
allowes
Correct your spelling
allows
allowed
 me to share
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 experience with other members of the same field of mine. I will send my resume to the mentioned address, I am looking forward to
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 with you Best Regards Jean Allan
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: