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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, it is now illegal for employers to reject job applicants because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In some countries, it is now illegal for employers to reject
job
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 applicants because of their
age
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.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I think
this
Linking Words
 could be a positive development.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I consider that amount of experience is directly proportional to how long that person lived. So
age
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 should be one of the concerns in
job
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 applications.
Old aged
Add a hyphen
Old-aged
show examples
people
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 could be way more advanced in specific
skills
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as financial management or it might be communication
skills
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 within
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
. But
then
Linking Words
 it doesn’t mean that
young aged
Add a hyphen
young-aged
show examples
 applications should be all rejected, sometimes the new knowledge learnt is more useful than experience. Computer science, technology and IOT could be examples of what young
people
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 can do well without any experience.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I don’t think that judging
people
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with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
age
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 is fair. Nowadays, human rights aren’t decided by
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
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, religion or skin colour. And I think
age
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 should
also
Linking Words
 be one of these. While we can’t fasten or reverse back our ages, all the
age
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 is still a person who lives. And there shouldn’t be any unfairness
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
 those living
people
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. Despite the fact that all
age
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 groups have different potential, thinking, and knowledge, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fact that unfairness will occur. But we still can try to be fair in
job
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 applications by considering their
skills
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 and qualifications, not by their
age
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. To conclude,
age
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 still is one of the considerations when choosing the applicants who applied for the
job
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, but it shouldn't be judged just by the fact that the person is old or young. We can start having fair connections between us and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
improve our
skills
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 and technologies.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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