IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

#families #change
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Family is the backbone of a person.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we can see that families are getting apart than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to be.
This
Linking Words
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 because of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
gap
Use synonyms
 and it can be
solving
Change the form of the verb
solved
show examples
 by
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more and more
time
Use synonyms
 all together in the family. The upcoming paragraphs would cast light on
above
Add an article
the above
an above
show examples
 notion. The
First
Linking Words
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost reason behind
this
Linking Words
 problem is
generation
Add an article
a generation
the generation
show examples
gap
Use synonyms
. There is a lot of age
gap
Use synonyms
 between the parents and the children. Because of that, they are having different preferences.
For example
Linking Words
, old people like country songs and
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation like rap songs. Sometimes, it creates a rift between the families.
Next
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the parents have engrossed in their jobs. They do not give proper
time
Use synonyms
 to their children. It develops a communication barrier between them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every problem has a solution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people spend some vacations together.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, they plan some holiday trips and spent some quality
time
Use synonyms
 together and play games with each other. It develops understanding and a strong relationship between them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if parents
busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their work, they use social media to keep maintain their relations properly by chatting online and video calls in their free
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the conversation
gap
Use synonyms
 is the major problem but if a person
balance
Correct subject-verb agreement
balances
show examples
 their family life and work together, it maintains the peace among families
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole life
Submitted by prabhjyot44 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • family interactions
  • technological advancements
  • virtual interactions
  • dual-income households
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • social structures
  • individualism
  • family cohesiveness
  • belonging
  • open communication
  • emotional support
  • shared activities
  • family dynamics
  • work-life balance
  • family traditions
  • regular gatherings
  • counseling
  • family therapy
  • prioritizing family time
What to do next:
Look at other essays: