IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

#families #change
Family is the backbone of a person.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we can see that families are getting apart than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to be.
This
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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 because of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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gap
 and it can be
solving
Change the form of the verb
solved
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 by
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 more and more
time
 all together in the family. The upcoming paragraphs would cast light on
above
Add an article
the above
an above
show examples
 notion. The
First
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost reason behind
this
 problem is
generation
Add an article
a generation
the generation
show examples
gap
. There is a lot of age
gap
 between the parents and the children. Because of that, they are having different preferences.
For example
, old people like country songs and
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation like rap songs. Sometimes, it creates a rift between the families.
Next
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the parents have engrossed in their jobs. They do not give proper
time
 to their children. It develops a communication barrier between them.
On the other hand
, every problem has a solution.
Firstly
, people spend some vacations together.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, they plan some holiday trips and spent some quality
time
 together and play games with each other. It develops understanding and a strong relationship between them.
Secondly
, if parents
busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
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in
Change preposition
with
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 their work, they use social media to keep maintain their relations properly by chatting online and video calls in their free
time
. In conclusion, the conversation
gap
 is the major problem but if a person
balance
Correct subject-verb agreement
balances
show examples
 their family life and work together, it maintains the peace among families
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
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 whole life
Submitted by prabhjyot44 on

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