Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health

In the 21st

century

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,century

show examples

everyone has their own

Correct your spelling

smartphone

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smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

and even

spare

Correct article usage

a spare

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in every room.

Children

learn about technology and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

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. They usually spend

day

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the day

a day

show examples

watching television and playing

video

games

. Some people think these activities

has

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have

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

's health.

This

essay will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

agree with the argument.

Children

spending their free time for watch content and play

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

advantages

such

as they can get a lot of

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

from

. On the

programme

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,programme

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there are so many educational

contets

Correct your spelling

contexts

contents

this

help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

Moreover

, playing

video

games

improves

children

's IQ. Because a lot of

video

games

have hard tasks so that can help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids

thinking process.

Also

kids

can make friends with so many people while playing

video

games

. On the internet, there are so many people who have similar

interest

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interests

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

them.

However

, these activities have so many bad sides too. It can cause a few mental issues.

For example

children

who watch a lot of

Change to a plural noun

tvs

show examples

and play

video

games

are usually shy or unfriendly. Because they spend plenty of

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

at their home and

donnot

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don't

do not

communicate with others.

This

can turn

child

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

into

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

introverted person.

Furthermore

, some

kids

get more and more aggressive day after day.

Change preposition

For

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

reason

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that,

children

usually play or watch violent

games

or movies. A huge amount of movies and

video

games

include killing

scene

Fix the agreement mistake

scenes

show examples

or killing tasks.

Few

Change the article

A few

show examples

years ago, I visited

mental

Add an article

the mental

show examples

hospital to

met

Wrong verb form

meet

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my sister who works as

doctor

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a doctor

show examples

there. In the

halls

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,halls

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there are so many young

children

Correct pronoun usage

who yell

show examples

yell

Wrong verb form

yelling

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at their family members and

angry

Add a missing verb

are angry

show examples

at them. Because they could not play

video

games

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

make the mad. In conclusion, I believe

and

video

games

can disturb

kids

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Parents should concern about their

children

's usage of

and computers. Young

children

do not know that much about

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

, so they could pick up wrong opinions from films and

games

Submitted by Angie on Wed Jun 22 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The charts below showa the total number of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK, devided into three categories, from1995-2002.

You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words.