Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health

In the 21st

century

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,century

show examples

everyone has their own

Correct your spelling

smartphone

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smart phone

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smartphone

show examples

and even

spare

Correct article usage

a spare

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in every room.

Children

learn about technology and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

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. They usually spend

day

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the day

a day

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watching television and playing

video

games

. Some people think these activities

has

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have

show examples

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

's health.

This

essay will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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agree with the argument.

Children

spending their free time for watch content and play

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

advantages

such

as they can get a lot of

informations

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information

pieces of information

show examples

from

. On the

programme

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,programme

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there are so many educational

contets

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contexts

contents

this

help

for

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apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

Moreover

, playing

video

games

improves

children

's IQ. Because a lot of

video

games

have hard tasks so that can help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids

thinking process.

Also

kids

can make friends with so many people while playing

video

games

. On the internet, there are so many people who have similar

interest

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interests

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with

Change preposition

show examples

them.

However

, these activities have so many bad sides too. It can cause a few mental issues.

For example

children

who watch a lot of

Change to a plural noun

tvs

show examples

and play

video

games

are usually shy or unfriendly. Because they spend plenty of

times

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time

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at their home and

donnot

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don't

do not

communicate with others.

This

can turn

child

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

into

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

introverted person.

Furthermore

, some

kids

get more and more aggressive day after day.

Change preposition

For

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the

Correct your spelling

that

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reason

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that,

children

usually play or watch violent

games

or movies. A huge amount of movies and

video

games

include killing

scene

Fix the agreement mistake

scenes

show examples

or killing tasks.

Few

Change the article

A few

show examples

years ago, I visited

mental

Add an article

the mental

show examples

hospital to

met

Wrong verb form

meet

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my sister who works as

doctor

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a doctor

show examples

there. In the

halls

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,halls

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there are so many young

children

Correct pronoun usage

who yell

show examples

yell

Wrong verb form

yelling

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at their family members and

angry

Add a missing verb

are angry

show examples

at them. Because they could not play

video

games

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

make the mad. In conclusion, I believe

and

video

games

can disturb

kids

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Parents should concern about their

children

's usage of

and computers. Young

children

do not know that much about

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

, so they could pick up wrong opinions from films and

games

Submitted by Angie on Wed Jun 22 2022

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Your opinion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that there should b fixed punishments for each type of crome. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause. What can be done about this.

Even though doctors all over the world would agree that fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? What can be done about this problem?