Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child #health

In the 21st

century

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,century

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everyone has their own

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smartphone

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smart phone

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smartphone

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and even

spare

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a spare

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in every room.

Children

learn about technology and

internet

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the internet

show examples

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show examples

their

Change the word

show examples

early

ages

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age

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. They usually spend

day

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the day

a day

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watching television and playing

video

games

. Some people think these activities

has

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have

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negative

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a negative

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impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

's health.

This

essay will

Unnecessary verb

apply

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agree with the argument.

Children

spending their free time for watch content and play

computer

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the computer

show examples

have

few

Correct article usage

a few

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advantages

such

as they can get a lot of

informations

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information

pieces of information

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from

. On the

programme

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,programme

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there are so many educational

contets

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contexts

contents

this

help

for

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apply

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

Moreover

, playing

video

games

improves

children

's IQ. Because a lot of

video

games

have hard tasks so that can help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids

thinking process.

Also

kids

can make friends with so many people while playing

video

games

. On the internet, there are so many people who have similar

interest

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interests

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with

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show examples

them.

However

, these activities have so many bad sides too. It can cause a few mental issues.

For example

children

who watch a lot of

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tvs

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and play

video

games

are usually shy or unfriendly. Because they spend plenty of

times

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time

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at their home and

donnot

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don't

do not

communicate with others.

This

can turn

child

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a child

the child

show examples

into

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a more

the more

show examples

introverted person.

Furthermore

, some

kids

get more and more aggressive day after day.

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For

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the

Correct your spelling

that

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reason

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apply

show examples

that,

children

usually play or watch violent

games

or movies. A huge amount of movies and

video

games

include killing

scene

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scenes

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or killing tasks.

Few

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A few

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years ago, I visited

mental

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the mental

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hospital to

met

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meet

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my sister who works as

doctor

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a doctor

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there. In the

halls

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,halls

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there are so many young

children

Correct pronoun usage

who yell

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yell

Wrong verb form

yelling

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at their family members and

angry

Add a missing verb

are angry

show examples

at them. Because they could not play

video

games

that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

make the mad. In conclusion, I believe

and

video

games

can disturb

kids

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Parents should concern about their

children

's usage of

and computers. Young

children

do not know that much about

world

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the world

show examples

, so they could pick up wrong opinions from films and

games

Submitted by Angie on Wed Jun 22 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children shoul be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adultsz. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Crimes and other kinds of information on the television and newspaper have bad consequences. This kind of information to be restricted to be shown in media. To what extend do you agree or disagree.