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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidies membership of gyms and sport clubs , believing that this will make their staff healthier, and thus more effective at work . Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the argument from both aspects of this possible debates , and reach a conclusion.

#employers #offer #employees #subsidies #membership #gyms #sport #clubs #staff #work #benefit #argument #aspects #debates #conclusion
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A few companies provide their team with a membership at gymnasium and
clubs
Use synonyms
 thinking that will make employees fit and healthy
as a result
Linking Words
 , to increase productivity at work. Others believe that there are no advantages to doing
this
Linking Words
 is a waste of money.
This
Linking Words
 easy sheds light on both views and a conclusion will be given in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, employers think that if their team are fitter and less stressed ,
then
Linking Words
 their working time will be raised , leading to a better level of output and services.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the employee is healthy their work/life balance will be increased by doing
such
Linking Words
 sports activities in gyms and
clubs
Use synonyms
. Adding more, sometimes it is difficult to achieve a certain type of bonus, incentives, perks and increment at work by employes so, giving
such
Linking Words
 membership is good for all the
workers
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, giving
such
Linking Words
 subsidies and thinking that it will increase the output is just an illusion . The money spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enrollment should be utilised in better ways like job training programs and day release programs. Employers should motivate their
workers
Use synonyms
 by helping them and guiding them toward higher job prospects. Bonus and incentives should be provided to
workers
Use synonyms
 that are far more beneficial to
workers
Use synonyms
 rather than discounts at gyms. According to an article published in CNN Times , 60.4% of people were dissatisfied with the subsidies and participation provided at
clubs
Use synonyms
 by the companies to their working people. To conclude,giving discounts at gyms and
clubs
Use synonyms
 to produce good outcomes is just like belief . Companies should focus on ongoing training and motivate them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 bonuses and rewards.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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