Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

#position #women #society #discrimination

Gone is the idea that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

women

can’t be in society and they should stay home and take care of children. It is plain to see these days position of

women

in social life has changed beyond recognition. yet, I completely opine that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

still much discrimination between both genders.

This

essay will state some valid evidence for the same. To embark, to advance a convincing theory, I could deal with going out.

First

of all, girls can’t hang out with their friends till midnight. They must come back home before 10.

In addition

to what I have just said, some

women

don’t have permission to work. On top of that, they can’t travel abroad or get married. They should be allowed by their husband or father. Not

last

but not least, on the grounds that some men have made society unsafe,

women

must protect themselves. There

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

been

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

bad news related to

this

For instance

, it was written in a newspaper, that a woman has been raped 3 days ago. In the forthcoming paragraph, I could deal with good changes related to

this

Although

there is still sexual discrimination, in

this

new decade, due to the advent of technology and social media, people's

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

show examples

have changed. New rules were published for the right of females.

Moreover

, they have more independence.

Also

, it is clear to see females in society more than before. To conclude, all in all, there have been great alter related to

this

. But both genders need to have the same rights and opportunities.

This

will take a few years to come true.

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Mon Jul 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts think that universal basic income only makes sense if it provides just enough to survive on so that people still need to work and earn money for living . To what extent do you agree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.