Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

#position #women #society #discrimination

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Gone is the idea that

Remove the comma

apply

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women

Use synonyms

can’t be in society and they should stay home and take care of children. It is plain to see these days position of

women

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in social life has changed beyond recognition. yet, I completely opine that

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apply

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there

are

Change the verb form

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still much discrimination between both genders.

This

Linking Words

essay will state some valid evidence for the same. To embark, to advance a convincing theory, I could deal with going out.

First

Linking Words

of all, girls can’t hang out with their friends till midnight. They must come back home before 10.

In addition

Linking Words

to what I have just said, some

women

Use synonyms

don’t have permission to work. On top of that, they can’t travel abroad or get married. They should be allowed by their husband or father. Not

last

Linking Words

but not least, on the grounds that some men have made society unsafe,

women

Use synonyms

must protect themselves. There

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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been

many

Replace the quantifier

much

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bad news related to

this

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, it was written in a newspaper, that a woman has been raped 3 days ago. In the forthcoming paragraph, I could deal with good changes related to

this

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

there is still sexual discrimination, in

this

Linking Words

new decade, due to the advent of technology and social media, people's

mindset

Fix the agreement mistake

mindsets

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have changed. New rules were published for the right of females.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they have more independence.

Also

Linking Words

, it is clear to see females in society more than before. To conclude, all in all, there have been great alter related to

this

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. But both genders need to have the same rights and opportunities.

This

Linking Words

will take a few years to come true.

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Mon Jul 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Although the position of women in society today has improved, there is still a great deal of sexual discrimination. Do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.