some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym and sports club, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gym #sports #club #staff #work #benefit

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Health and fitness are vital factors in someone's life. A huge number of organisations offer their

employees

Change to a genitive case

employee's

employees'

show examples

subscription membership in gymnasium and sports

club

Fix the agreement mistake

clubs

show examples

, believing that it will make their workers

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be physically fit and more productive at the office. Some people argue that it can have some positive effects on their performance whereas others believe that it will not make any difference. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, it is proven by experts that providing

such

Linking Words

facilities to employees will bring numerous benefits to the company.

This

Linking Words

is because research has shown that doing exercise regularly will save a person's health,

prolong

Correct word choice

and prolong

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life and in that way,

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

of staff will be able to increase productivity. A good illustration

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

is associations in China and Japan which encourage their workers to do physical activities during the work process to avoid fatigue.

In addition

Linking Words

, if most people do exercises in

group

Add an article

the group

a group

show examples

they will be able to bring staff together as a family. Thereby, providing

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

in the company.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, job givers that do not ensure subsidized membership assume that their profits can be used elsewhere, which is giving bonuses to increase productivity.

For instance

Linking Words

, some companies focus on free healthcare and

also

Linking Words

motivate their workers by issuing a money bonus.

This

Linking Words

can reduce a person's involvement in the work process and determine deterioration

mood

Change preposition

of mood

show examples

in the group. In a nutshell, if employers do not support sports clubs and

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gyms, they will make a lot more than a profit.

Linking Words

Nevertheless

Add a comma

,Nevertheless

show examples

associations which ensure these have more

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

due to enhancing

worker's

Fix the agreement mistake

workers'

show examples

productivity and approaching team members.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, its cons outweigh its pros.

Submitted by onuanderline on Thu Jul 14 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?
People have different views as to whether primary schools should teach children how to cultivate plants and raise animals. While there are legitimate concerns surrounding time constraints, I believe this approach would do more good than harm when viewed through the lense of academic growth.
5.5
band
You have been working with your company for two years and are interested in a promotion. Write a letter to your direct boss. In your letter: · Explain your varied achievements over the past two years · Express your interest in growing with the company · Ask for a meeting to discuss a potential promotion
I am writing this letter to show my interest in the job opening for the role of Supervisor which have been posted on the company's website last night.
6.5
band
In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?
In modern times, an increasing concern for many people around the world is that the rising crime rates have increased greatly. The causes of this phenomenon are variants and have led to a wide range of effects on human life. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why species loss is occurring and how we can address this issue for people and the world.
4.5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that todays generation receive a bunch of pressure to be successful on their academic. I completely agree on this statement and believe that the youngsters deserve a better way of study. Because of the pressure, some people arguing that besides academic subject such as cookery or physical education should be displaced from syllabus to more focus on the academic work. And i am strongly agree on that view.
6
band
It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There may be divergent views regarding whether individuals should visit other areas to learn about the culture. While some people think it is beneficial to learn according to books, movies, and websites, I am convinced by the view that learning about cultures from a trip is more advantageous.

some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym and sports club, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?