Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Health and fitness are really vital factors in someone's life. A huge number of organisations offer their employees subscription membership to a gymnasium and sports clubs, believing that it will make their workers become physically fit and more productive at the office. Some people argue that it can have some positive effects on their performance
whereas
others believe that it will not make any difference. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, it is proven by experts that providing
such
facilities to employees will bring numerous benefits to the company.
This
is because research has shown that regular exercise will save a person's health, and prolong life span and in that way, members of staff will be able to increase productivity. A good illustration of
this
is associations in China and Japan which encourage their workers to do physical activities during the work process to avoid fatigue.
In addition
, if most people do exercises in a group they will be able to bring staff together as a family.
For example
,
this
is one of the ways managers ensure teamwork all over the world.
On the other hand
, job givers that do not ensure subsidized membership think that their profits can be used
elsewhere
, namely; in bonuses or to increase productivity.
For instance
, some companies focus on free healthcare and
also
motivate their staff by issuing a money bonus.
This
can reduce a person's involvement in the work process and determine deterioration of mood in the group. In a nutshell, if employers do not offer sports club support, they will make a lot more than a profit.
Nevertheless
, associations which ensure employees' subsidized membership in gyms and sports clubs are at
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
due to
the fact that healthy and physically fit workers tend to give out positive and greater work productivity and maintain good teamwork.
However
, in my opinion, its cons outweigh its pros.
Submitted by onuanderline on

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task response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views, considering the pros and cons of subsidized gym membership. Also, make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some organization and progression of ideas, but there are some issues with coherence and clarity of ideas. Use transition words to connect your ideas more effectively and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point.
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