You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would like the job - give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ - say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing

this

letter referring to the advertisement I saw in a weekend magazine which was regarding a child caretaker.

This

opportunity will be ideal for me due to various reasons. The

first

reason is that I love to spend my time with kids since it provides me pleasure.

In addition

to that,

currently

Add a comma

,currently

show examples

I am studying in

Change the word

the

show examples

final semester of

the

Change the word

show examples

degree and I wanted to do a job which does not affect

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my studies as well as to have a considerable financial benefit. I will be a good match

Change preposition

for

show examples

your requirement because I am following a child care degree program which provided me practical exposure

Change preposition

show examples

handling a

three year old

Add a hyphen

three-year-old

show examples

child 6 months ago.

Moreover

, I will be able to help your kid with school work since I am

also

learning these days. I prefer to spend my free time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

exploring the city.

However

, in

coming

Correct article usage

the coming

show examples

six months, most probably I will stay at home because I have my final semester exams. I am expecting

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a favourable reply from you. Yours Faithfully, Thuya Perera

Submitted by TSP on Fri Jul 15 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

186 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising? What measures should be taken to protect them?

The use of mobile phones has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones?

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Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?