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Band 3.5

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pace #stress #life #effect #families
It is argued that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
pressure
 and fast pace
work
 of modern life is affecting the bond with family
members
. I totally agree with the statement as a worker spend most of their
time
 spending in their workplace rather than
to interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
 with family
members
. Worklife and the office
pressure
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 causing problems
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 family
members
, As the husband has many things to attend
in
Change preposition
to in
show examples
 his
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
 and very less
time
 to spend
time
 with his daughter or son and
this
 stretches the gap between families.
For example
, Recently a survey taken by the
woker
Correct your spelling
worker
workers
 council has declared that an average employee spends most of his
time
 in a workplace and with his/her colleagues
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 he ever does in his home with his relations.
Hence
,
proveing
Correct your spelling
proving
 how bad of a situation we caught up with.
Secondly
, another reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have the notion that family are being
impaced
Correct your spelling
impacted
 is the
work
pressure
 in the office space. An average Employee is exerted to a huge
work
pressure
 by his
superiours
Correct your spelling
superiors
show examples
 to get the job done in
time
,
Therefore
 causing the worker to be negatively impacted by the
work
excersion
Correct your spelling
excursion
.
Hence
,
Correct pronoun usage
This Causing
show examples
Causing
Wrong verb form
Causes
show examples
 damage to his mental health and problem with family
members
. In conclusion, Huge
work
pressure
 and bad working conditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to bad terms with
Correct your spelling
housemates
show examples
house mates
Correct your spelling
housemates
show examples
 and severe problems.
Submitted by bladtherf on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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