IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays some workplace tend to employ equal number of men and women workers . Do you think it is positive and negative development

#workplace #men #women #workers #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 contemporary epoch, a section of society holds
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
credence that there should be an
Correct your spelling
equality
equity
equally
equilty
Correct your spelling
equality
 in terms of employment. There are
also
 lots of folks
commend
Correct pronoun usage
who commend
show examples
 that
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 commence
to hire
Change the verb form
hiring
show examples
 the same amount of men and women in a particular sector. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will outline
this
 intricate issue
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my point of view.
Tp
Correct your spelling
To
show examples
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
being
 with, the
Correct your spelling
employment
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 of employees is based on the capabilities and the experiences that one
posses
Wrong verb form
possesses
show examples
.
Therefore
, gender distinction is not a huge deal with it comes to
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
show examples
 folks for a job.
In other words
, if one has already
Correct your spelling
acquired
accquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
 all the minimum requirements required by the company, they are more likely to be
Correct your spelling
chosen
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
, and it is not
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on gender types. To exemplify
futher
Correct your spelling
further
, most organisations desire their employees to give optimum the working
capabalities
Correct your spelling
capabilities
 in order to be availed by them for the future.
On the other hand
, the company wants to balance the
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
 among the employees.
For instance
, women tend to execute
Add an article
the task
show examples
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 properly rather than men, whereas men have more logical conceptions to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain sector
such
 as the marketing strategy department. Both have their merits and demerits, and it is undeniable that these kinds of quality
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 by the
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
employeers
Correct your spelling
employees
.
Consequently
, it can assist the companies to accomplish their missions. In a nutshell, in my opinion, it is a positive way as gender differences are not vital in hiring folks for numerous job sectors, it poses that everyone can be employed if they are qualified enough for the company needy.
Submitted by hadamajwad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: