IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#families #move #job #opportunities #people #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the world, looking for job opportunities oversea is common. Many families move to other
countries
Use synonyms
 with the hope of better quality of
life
Use synonyms
 for themselves and their
children
Use synonyms
. While others decide to live and work in their
countries
Use synonyms
 because they and their
children
Use synonyms
 might find it hard to live in other
countries
Use synonyms
 ,especially a country where English is not the native language. In my opinion, it is better to work oversea if the work can improve the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 for their
children
Use synonyms
 and family. Generally speaking, everyone knows that living in
first
Linking Words
-world
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the United State or European
countries
Use synonyms
 have a high chance to improve the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 for your family and
children
Use synonyms
. In those
countries
Use synonyms
, there are more job opportunities, higher incomes, and more benefits in every single way than looking for jobs in
third
Linking Words
-world
countries
Use synonyms
. Just only
this
Linking Words
 fact, many families decide to move overseas. As for other families thinking it is difficult for their offspring, they need to understand that sometimes they just need to let their offspring face difficult situations. Overprotective your offspring might result worse than letting them experience it by themselves. When your offspring face hard situations and you provide good guidance and support for them, they will be good adults with problem-solving skills that can deal with the hard situations in the future. Overall, I think letting your heir face difficult positions is necessary for the heir to improve themselves. By forcing your heir to leave their comfort zone and adapt to a new region where they have a chance to live a better
life
Use synonyms
, I think
that is
Linking Words
 obviously worth a try.
Submitted by noppawittk1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: