In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Higher education allows people easier to find jobs.

However

Linking Words

, some individuals opine who think that

can cancel

Wrong verb form

cancelling

show examples

high school

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can solve the high rate of unemployment problems. In my opinion, I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

perspective that education is very important for finding work. First of all, high-level students which are easy find work

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

others despite high the unemployment rate. As they have more chances to find what they want to do because of their knowledge.

For example

Linking Words

, bank companies always select an employee from their educational background who has high learning.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the one who has a higher degree of study will always be chosen for work.

Conversely

Linking Words

, primary's haven't a lot of choices. Secondarily, we are difficult to get jobs

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

not only because of our knowledge but

also

Linking Words

have

Verb problem

because of

show examples

different reasons like the bad economic environment. When the environment is not good, the company will not

apply

Verb problem

hire

show examples

new employees. It is because they need to control their costs.

For example

Linking Words

, there are many shops and

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies that

show examples

have closed

Change preposition

during

show examples

COVID-19.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many people with no hope

to find

Change preposition

of finding

show examples

a job.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, human resources

which is

Verb problem

play

show examples

an important role in developing the country. If there are more teenagers who have high education, their country will be called by developing country. After that, there are more and more company will open their corporation there.

To sum up

Linking Words

, there are many reasons that

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

people can’t find their job.

Conversely

Linking Words

, learning not only brings us knowledge but

also

Linking Words

lets us find different jobs.

fkamn12354Fri Jul 22 2022

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. There was some confusion regarding your stance.

coherence and cohesion

Try to ensure that your ideas connect smoothly. Use transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and displays a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Clarify your wording and grammar; for example, phrases like 'high-level students which are easy find work' need refinement for clarity.

task achievement

You present a clear disagreement with the statement, showing your opinion effectively throughout the essay.

task achievement

You provide important points about the value of education in the job market.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal access
knowledgeable workforce
economic growth
critical thinking
social equality
self-employment
entrepreneurship
cycle of poverty
vocational training
job market needs
specialized fields
modern economies
innovation
diverse and dynamic economy

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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The practice of illegally hunting wild animals continues to cause concern in many countries, particularly developing countries. What are the causes of such hunting? What are the effects on the animals, and on the wider human society in these countries and beyond?

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feels that other subjects are important for children in today's society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion .