In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Education allows students to improve their lore and
easy to choose
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easy-to-choose
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work.
However
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, some opinions think that cancelling high-level schools can change the high rate of unemployment problems. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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perspective that education is very important for finding work. First of all, education is very important when people find a job or for the company to choose their employees. It is because each post has its demands. If we don’t fit their demands, the company will not apply
us
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to us
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.
For example
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, being a banker who needs high-level business lore.
Therefore
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, we can learn different skills in secondary school
while
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primary hasn't. As we have more learning
than
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apply
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we
allow
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are allowed
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to choose different types of jobs.
Moreover
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, secondary school not only lets us know the knowledge but
also
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lets us learn how to practice for the exams. So that children can apply their practice to their work. Secondarily, people find jobs difficult that are not only because of their learning but
also
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have
Verb problem
because of
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different reasons like the economic environment problem. When the environment is not good, the company don’t
apply
Verb problem
hire
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new employees. It is because they need to control their cost or can’t open just like COVID-19. There are many companies that need to close or stop their shops,
such
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as food shops, clothes shops or others.
To sum up
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, there are many reasons that
make
Verb problem
apply
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people can’t find their job.
Conversely
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, learning not only brings us knowledge but
also
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lets us find different jobs.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly structure your arguments with topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
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Make sure your ideas are fully developed and explained. Providing more detailed examples and explanations will strengthen your arguments.
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Check for grammatical accuracy and word choice. For instance, 'lore' should be 'knowledge' or 'skills' and 'applying us' should be 'hire us'.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion that education is important, which is a good way to engage with the task.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples related to education and employment throughout your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • social equality
  • self-employment
  • entrepreneurship
  • cycle of poverty
  • vocational training
  • job market needs
  • specialized fields
  • modern economies
  • innovation
  • diverse and dynamic economy
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